Quiet Mischief and Company

Why I Posted the Lame Short Short

2012-01-25T23:18:00.000-07:00

First, I texted my sister. "How's it going?"

Then I felt the familiar tugging. "Story idea over here," it seemed to say.

Then I got on the computer.

Then I wrote a short short.

Then I realized it was dumb.

Then Mat started reading it.

Then I got really embarrassed.

Then I thought that I should share my lame short short with the world, in order to prove some kind of point to Mat (no, I don't know what the point is, nor how me posting a short short I wrote in a couple of minutes is supposed to prove anything).

Never mind. I don't know why I posted it either.

A Lame Short Short

2012-01-25T23:15:00.001-07:00

Loosely based on true events

"How's it going?"

She groaned. "I hate the whole world."

"That well, huh?"

"Shut up." She waved her hand dismissively.

"So, when you do think you'll be done?"

"Shortly before I kill myself, I hope. Now get out of here!"

"Hey..." he said soothingly, reaching over to pat her shoulder. He only got in a couple of pats before needing to move his hand to avoid a swipe from her. "Only trying to help and all that."

"No, you're trying to be obnoxious. Go. Away."

She looked up in surprise as he jerked her chair back from the desk. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Rescuing you." He leaned on the chair, preventing her from scooting back. "You, my dear, need a break."

"But..." her anger was dissolving into something more like despair. "I need to..."

"Hush. It can wait five minutes, and you'll work better for it. Come on."

She tried to push him away, as he was now blocking her view of her computer screen. "But I know what you mean when you say 'break.' I won't be back here for hours if you have your way."

"And you'd enjoy every minute of it."

She sighed. "I just can't today. I have so much..."

"No," he said, cutting her off. "No objections. You're starting to get sad and then you won't be good for anything."

She looked a trifle stung. "But..."

"No buts, even. Though you do have a very nice one." She managed a small smile at that. "Now, get up and come hang out with me." He took her hands and tugged on them.

"But..." she allowed herself to be pulled out of the chair. "My work..."

"Shut up," he said affectionately.

Here's why I posted this

Customer Appreciation, 2011

2011-12-26T10:12:00.009-07:00

It's been a crazy, fantastic year at QM & Co. I didn't keep up on my quarterly reports because I realized that no one other than myself was interested, and no one other than my sister and boyfriend were going to listen to me about them, but I'll give you a brief update: goals weren't just reached. They were smashed to pieces as we quickly moved past them and on to bigger and better things.

Best of all, this year has ended with three kinds of thousands. Starting last month, we've been grossing over $1000 a month; we have 1,000 likes on our facebook page; and yesterday we hit our 1,000th Etsy sale.

Quiet Mischief and Company is a full-blown business now. I earn more at this per month than I did at my first part-time job, and it can only get better. Every week we get a little more dedicated, a little more creative, and a little more known.

But of course we'd be nowhere without our customers. So I am happy to announce our Customer Appreciation Week!

From now until late Monday Jan. 2/early Tuesday Jan. 3 any purchase from our shop will have a free gift sent with it. Heart and rose rings will get one or two braided rings. Friendship bracelets will get a matching tiny bracelet set. Tiny bracelet sets will get an extra tiny bracelet or two. And the more you buy, the more gifts you will receive!

Thanks, everyone. You've made this year fantastic. Let's finish with a bang and start the new year running!

Quiet Mischief and Company Etsy shop

Need some ideas on what to purchase? Here are some of our best sellers:
Duct Tape Rose Ring Tutorial

Neon Rainbow Duct Tape Rose Ring

White Rainbow Plaid Friendship Bracelet

Rainbow of Tiny Friendship Bracelets (matches the rainbow plaid bracelet above)

Should You Sell Your Patterns?

2011-08-19T07:15:00.006-06:00

Selling patterns, especially of items that you make and sell, is a risky business, which is why many people stay out of it.

People who don't understand the work involved will say your prices are too high, and some will criticize you for charging at all.

Others will steal your work, either offering the tutorial to others for free or outright charging for it themselves.

Some people will say that, by offering a digital file for sale online, you deserve to have your work stolen and distributed for free.

And of course there is always the possibility that you will give someone the skills to become your competition.

Despite all of this, offering a PDF tutorial for our duct tape rose rings in the Quiet Mischief and Company Etsy shop is one of the best decisions I have made for my business.

For me, there are many pros that outweigh the cons of selling what are basically trade secrets. One of the biggest is something that nearly every crafter can relate to: when you have the skills but lack the details to making something yourself, you are hesitant to purchase a finished item. In other words, many people who like duct tape like to work with duct tape, and would rather purchase a tutorial and make rings themselves than purchase a finished ring.

Another benefit is how easy it is. I spent six hours doing my part to create the PDF, but now all I have to do is answer the occasional question, periodically update the thing, and, whenever it's ordered, attach it to an email and send it on its way. My sister and technical writer have it even easier; they only had to help with the original document and occasionally answer my questions. It's not quite free money, but it sure feels like it!

Our shop has also gained a lot of traffic both directly and indirectly from the tutorial. Directly because many people were starting to hear/think of making duct tape rings, and a google search for instructions almost always led them to us. Indirectly because of things like now having the skills and experience to write a decent free tutorial that went live on a blog months ago but still gets us traffic every day.

If abstracts aren't enough, I'll give you numbers. In a year, we have sold almost 300 copies of our tutorial. It has almost 350 hearts on Etsy. Lissi is getting paid over $100 an hour for the time she put into it, and I'm getting nearly as much for my time. Our tutorial gets more hits than our actual storefront does, and has over 17,000 views total. Every day one third to one half of the people who visit our shop view the tutorial. Many come just for that but then move on to other items.

With that great success, we could not stop there. Many people have noticed the new PDF tutorial in the shop, one that was almost as requested as the rose ring tutorial - heart shaped duct tape rings. It's been up for about two weeks and has been viewed almost 200 times and has 21 hearts, and has a brand-new price! We're offering it in a bundle with the rose ring for a discount, and we also have a coupon code for people who previously purchased the rose ring tutorial.

And we aren't stopping there. We will be keeping some secrets, but in the near future we plan to have tutorials for spiral duct tape rose rings, duct tape rose hair clips, and Halloween duct tape rings, and if we come up with new rings we will likely make tutorials to match.

Have there been difficulties? Yeah. Has it been worth it? Definitely.

Insecurity Time!

2011-07-30T09:55:00.002-06:00

I knew I was getting bigger. I've never made a habit of weighing myself, but the few times I did it seemed I was only going up.

This was a welcome change, though. I was used to getting on the scale and being ten to fifteen pounds underweight. Now I was just fine, thank you. Until, of course, I was ten pounds overweight.

It never really hit home for me until today, when put on a shirt my mom gave me, looked in the mirror, and felt my heart sink. I don't know what it is about this shirt - the neckline, perhaps, or the slight bagginess to it - but I actually look big.

Let me point out now that I do realize ten pounds is not that much, numbers-wise. However, it's a lot to me. I am used to thinking of myself as rather slender, and though I always had a bit if a tummy and my chest has been a decent size since puberty, I've never been even a little overweight and have even occasionally been in shape. And, with several skinny siblings and a mom who exercises hard and watches what she eats, I'm not in sympathetic company.

Back to the story. I would blame my weight gain on my boyfriend, but that would be mean and not entirely truthful. It's not his fault that him feeding me one or two good meals a day and working to convince me that food is good would make me gain 25 pounds. The problem lies in the fact that exercise and I are not good friends. If I have no PE class or marching band, I have no reason to get up and move my body.

So now I guess I'd better force myself to get up and move, no matter how much I hate it. I do like all of the benefits - sleeping better, an actual appetite, muscle, and not having jiggly arms, thighs, and tummy - so I should just focus on those to get me through a half hour of sweating.

You know, I came here intending to just complain, and ended up coming up with solutions. When did I become even a bit of a responsible adult?

Kittens!

2011-07-20T19:30:00.005-06:00

So in my last post I mentioned that my apparently very fertile cat had gotten herself pregnant, with the end result of seven kittens. I even showed you a small picture where you could barely see all seven of them piled on top of my sister Melissa.

That, of course, is not the only kitten picture I have, though I have fewer than I'd like. So here are a few more! If you'd like to see all of them, find and follow my DeviantART and Flickr accounts.

This is probably my favorite from the photo shoot we did. I think my sister is beautiful, Rupert (temporary name) is adorable, and I love that their eyes match.

Lissi and Sam (temporary name) being adorable together.

Lissi insisted I put up this picture. She may have been joking. Oh well.

I love the traumatized look on Sam's face as he stares at Lissi's butt.

Rupert is ashamed.

This kitten's temporary name is in Japanese. It's Tenshi, which means angel. Unfortunately, this kitten is of the devil.

Lissi has been renamed Gym. Jungle Gym.

This was not the easiest photo shoot I have ever done. Apparently the outside is a scary place.

Well Hello There

2011-07-13T17:52:00.006-06:00

Hi guys.

I'm back again.

And I have some really good excuses for why I haven't posted in two months.

Reason One

You may remember from my last post that my computer exploded. (Well actually it died in its sleep, but explosions are much more exciting to talk about.) So some of my time in the past two months was spent creating a new coupon code, promoting my shop with the new coupon code, making and shipping the extra orders, and checking and rechecking my finances. After a couple of weeks, some online shopping, and a really long wait for shipping, here we are!

I also spent some times playing computer games. Don't judge me! This is the first time I've owned a PC, and HOLY CRAP THERE ARE COOL GAMES.

Reason Two

Do you remember my cat Bamboo, most recently talked about as having been out all night and coming back with a hangover? Well, that's not all she came back with.

That's seven kittens, you guys. Seven. Did she find a cat orgy or something? Maybe a cat mandatory sex party? Whatever happened, she partied hard, and is now paying the price. She spent two weeks doing almost nothing but feed kittens and eat so she could feed kittens. Her spare moments were spent collapsed in a corner of the room.

Why did this take up my time? With a litter this big, we were afraid that one or more of kittens wouldn't get enough to eat, so we weighed them one or two times a day and carefully kept track, and we had formula on hand if one of them lost weight.

At four weeks old (last Saturday) they were all at a week five weight, so somebody did something right.

Reason Three

It was my birthday at the beginning of June. In lieu of throwing a party, I gave myself a present.

I love this game. Older readers (or those who read the archives of this blog) will remember that I once blogged about my love of the game Encore, and will therefore know how serious it is when I say that my love for this game rivals my love of Encore. My brother and sister and I play every Monday and Friday, and I try to sneak other games in on other days of the week. I had to force myself to write this blog post instead of playing a game with my sister.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. What else could have been taking up my time?

Oh yeah. That.

That picture, though dark and a little small (and kindly provided by my cousin Danica) is of most of the alpha bracelets I shipped last Friday. There were a total of 258 that we shipped, all of them had been made in three weeks, and I made at least a third of them. I knotted for hours every day. They take me an hour and ten minutes to an hour and a half each, and my average a day was around 3-4. Some days I made six or more. This was seriously almost all I did with my time.

But now I am back and ready to take on the world! Here's what you can expect from this blog in the next couple of weeks:

*Duct tape prom dress photos
*Adventure(s) of the Doctors Who
*More adorable kittens
*A State of the Shop address
*The launch of a much-anticipated item in my Etsy shop

You should be excited for at least one of these, if not all of them. I also have several long-term projects in the planning, so if you like kittens, bracelets, duct tape, or hearing from me, you should bookmark this blog. This is where it will all be happening!

Help! I Need Somebody

2011-05-13T14:18:00.004-06:00

Well, my friends, it has happened. My laptop appears to have given up the ghost. It won't boot up, giving me only the Mac grey screen of death. Likely culprit is hard drive failure.

This laptop has done more than just provide me with hours of entertainment. I purchased it to use for school, and took notes, studied for tests, took tests, and played solitaire during particularly boring classes. And now that I am taking a break from school (I'm going back soon, I swear) it has become even more important. Turns out that having a computer is a key part of running an internet-based business, which is now not just what I do in my spare time but my full-time job.

My laptop has gone from a very useful time saver (and waster) to the foundation of my livelihood, and at least for now it is gone. I will take it in on Monday and will then learn if it is fixable, and if so, if it is worth fixing. Even if I choose to fix it I will need a new hard drive, a new battery, and work done on the disk drive. And if it's not fixable, I'll need to pay for what data can be saved to be transferred to a new laptop, which I will also have to pay for.

Here's where the help comes in. Even with how well the shop has been doing, purchasing or putting a down payment on a new laptop or even fixing the old one will be a serious strain on my finances. So please, if you can, spend a little. Go to our shop, Quiet Mischief and Company, chose an item or two or however many you want, and use the coupon code NEWLAPTOPFUND to get 15% off your entire order. (Please note that the coupon code does not include shipping, and is not valid for any bulk or wholesale listings. Any purchase made misusing the coupon code will be canceled.) I'll be eternally grateful, you'll get fantastic QM & Co. merchandise; it's a win-win. We're willing to do custom orders, so if nothing there exactly suits your fancy, convo or email to let us know what would.

Thanks for listening, everyone.

Whoops

2011-04-26T09:38:00.000-06:00

There was this one time when I took a driving test. It wasn't the real test, just a school test, and I took it in one of those cars with "Student Driver" stickers and brake labeled "in case of student stupidity" on the passenger side.

My instructor seemed pretty unconcerned about getting in the car with a nervous student who had just finished driver's ed. It was probably because I was 18 years old at them time. I bet the instructors fight over students like me, wanting to get paid for doing something a little more relaxing than being terrified for their lives. I can just see a fistfight break out: "I've nearly been killed three times in the last week! I get the next easy one!" one says as she punches another instructor in the gut. "What about me?" another instructor cries, pulling the first instructor's hair. "Yours were all near misses, we actually crashed yesterday!" Come to think of it, I think my instructor did have the beginnings of a black eye...

The drive was mostly uneventful.

"Don't be afraid, just keep pressing down the gas. This car doesn't take hills so well."

"That was a good turn."

"Don't forget to do a head check before you change lanes."

"Okay, now remember to break a little more slowly."

"Um, please stay in your own lane."

Only once did she even need to use the Student Idiocy brake. (I was distracted by a festival.)

We got back to the school not only in one piece, but with the instructor breathing normally and even smiling a little bit. "You did pretty well," she said. "How much experience have you had driving?"

"Well... this was my first time, actually."

She froze. "This was your first time?"

"Yeah. I've been in the church parking lot before, but that was about it."

And that, my friends, is how you break a driving instructor.

Really Guys, it was Totally an Epic Battle

2011-04-20T20:20:00.000-06:00

I have never handled embarrassment well. I blush like crazy at the slightest provocation and have been known to go so far as to, in scientific terms, "freak the hell out" when the situation was dire enough. One of the things I am the most easily embarrassed by is other people reading my story bits written down on napkins, in my notebooks, and in various word documents all over my laptop.

So one day I was over at my dearest Mat's house (well, his parents' house) and writing in my notebook. He noticed and took it away, attempting to read the story I was working on. I let him because, well, he's my boyfriend, and he let me read his writing, and he's always interested in everything I do... but mostly I let him read because my handwriting is terrible. He complained about a headache two sentences in and I turned away, satisfied.

Only he kept reading.

It eventually came to the point where I had to take the notebook away from him. Or rather attempted to take the notebook away from him. You see, he's so much bigger and stronger than I am; he's some big guy who used to wrestle and I'm just a little girl who used marching band as PE credit. An epic battle ensued, if you call "he held the notebook over my head and laughed while I jumped for it" an epic battle. He eventually surrendered the notebook, sad that I wouldn't let even him read the things I had written.

I took one very important lesson from this: I must destroy everything so he doesn't read it.*

But everything I've worked on, no matter how terrible (and believe me, some of these things are terrible), has a little piece of me in it. Even the things on the bottom of my pile of crap were giving me little twinges of guilt as I went to delete them from my computer. And then I recalled the confession turn that my blog had taken recently, and plan began to form. I started a new post on blogger and began copying quotes into it. When I had finished going through the stories (and done the all-important task of emptying the trash can), I began writing the explanation for these quotes, and... oh, I think we've caught up to the post in real life.

So here are some tiny bits from these stories resigned to the trash can. I will not explain any of them further because, as much as I am becoming comfortable with confessing things, I don't want to find out if I can burst into flames from sheer embarrassment.

"He buys a car seat and supplies, and then is on the run with a baby."

"He glanced at the men, then moved a bit closer to her and leaned over as far as he dared. 'Your water,' she said. 'Pour it on me.'"

“Never! I’ve told you, we have no reason to kill you as long as you cooperate!”

"The complete opposite in automobiles flashes past; bright red, fast, young, and obviously working."

"That was what she had hoped he wouldn't ask. She pulled her legs up into the chair and spread her skirt over them, aware that her movements had caused him to look at her."

"However, I soon gave up, for there was no way he was actually going to go back to her. It was temporary. I wouldn’t allow him to go back to her."

"And what could be stronger than hate?" "I wouldn't want to frighten the children."

"'What have you done?' Dead silence followed. Well, not really dead silence; the dead don't listen with such intensity that you can practically feel it."

"He didn’t care if she had been expecting to be invited to his expensive flat that night. He had other plans and other guests."

"Sometimes she felt like the glove on her left hand overpowered the rest of her."

*Okay, okay, so I also loosened up a bit and started letting him read what I was writing. But only because he is adorable when he pouts.

... and I'm a Mormon

2011-04-11T21:49:00.003-06:00

Have you seen those ads? They're part of the newest attempt by the Church to get others to see us as normal, or at least as anything but the weirdos and polygamists that everyone thinks we are. They say things like "I'm an honest businessman, and I'm a Mormon!" and "I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids and another on the way, and I'm a Mormon!" and "I'm a world traveler who, at nineteen, gave up school and girls and running water to live for two years in a foreign country knocking on doors, and I'm a Mormon!"

I think a better campaign would be if it was more of a confession thing. 'Cause you know most of what makes Mormons seem so weird is that we actually are kinda weird. There are a lot of things we don't do that others consider normal, and a lot of things we do that others find downright puzzling. ("Oh, my twelve-year-old sister isn't here today; she's in the temple getting baptized for dead people.") So let's confess that we do things that are perhaps a little off the beaten way in mainstream Mormonism, but prove that we're just like everyone else. "I'm a feminist, and I'm a Mormon!" would be a good start, as would "I hate Glenn Beck, and I'm a Mormon!" ("I drink caffeine, and I'm a Mormon!" would be going a little too far; we do have to maintain some standards.)

I'm telling you all this because I found out the other day what my Mormon confession would be. It's serious stuff. Are you ready for this? Hardcore Mormons who want to continue to have respect for me may want to look away.

I no longer consider “hell” and “damn” to be swear words.

I know this is heavy, but let’s all just take a deep breath and realize that I’m probably not going to be damned to hell for this.

Seriously, though, this was quite the revelation. I started saying hell and damn probably around two years ago, but very rarely and mostly for the shock value. (What? I’m only human.) They went in and out of favor with me for a long time; sometimes I returned to my previous Molly Mormon ways, sometimes I decided I didn’t give a damn. Then on Sunday my mother objected to us saying "holy crap" and I suggested "hellish crap," to which she responded that the prophet had told us not to swear, and I thought, "but that isn't a swear wor... oh hell, it's SUPPOSED to be a swear word. Damn. I really am becoming a Bad Girl."

I do still consider them to be strong words, and I won't whip them out any time a child makes a hell of a mess or the damn cat escapes while in heat, but I will be saying them. For those who don't want to hear these words, don't worry; I'll use discretion. For those who find this a sign of my approaching apostasy, go to heck.

THIS is Why You Have a Curfew

2011-04-07T18:18:00.006-06:00

This is Bamboo.

You may remember her from the last time I discussed her, that is the time we all pointed and laughed because she had gotten herself injured and had to go to the vet and wear a cone.

Despite that episode, she still liked to go outside; we discovered another sore near her tail just days after she had healed up and we had removed the cone. Three days later that sore, now infected, exploded all over me, and she spent a miserable couple of hours first in the tub and then on my lap, bleeding all the while. Another trip to the vet (where, when being shaved, another pocket of infection burst), another several days of cone-wearing, and now, NOW it seemed that she had had her fill of the great outdoors.

Then she was in heat for the first time in her young life.

Cats in heat become significantly more annoying than normal cats. They follow around males of any species (my boyfriend, my father, and my brother's dog are lavished with extra attention) and are always either writhing around suggestively or "assuming the position" (an all-purpose phrase in my house) in hopes someone will take pity on them and sex them up good. Bamboo had the extra fun of taking to heat like a Siamese.

Yes, she yowls. Not nearly as constantly as most Siamese do, but pretty frequently. Oh and also her being in heat had rekindled her interest in the outside world. Apparently the possibility of getting beat up was nothing compared to the possibility of finding a tom. And she knew tricks. She finally evaded us last night, hiding in wait in the dark immediately next to the front door. We ran outside to try to catch her, but she was over the fence and away.

We checked for her two or three times before we all went to bed, but she wasn't waiting by the doors (what she usually does after only an hour of being outside) and she didn't answer our call. In the morning we checked again several more times, but she didn't show.

I was down in my room at about eleven a.m. when the door was pushed open and little Bamboo wandered in. I cried out her name in relief, but she didn't even glance at me. This reminded me to get down to scolding mode. "And what time of day do you call this to be returning home?" I asked. She sniffed at the food in her food dish and glanced at the water. "Well?" I said. She continued to ignore me, jumping from my bed to the windowsill to Lissi's bed, where she collapsed in a heap. I muttered dark mutterings as I checked her tail end for new wounds, but there weren't any. "You're lucky," I said. She didn't respond. "I hope your hangover teaches you a lesson." She flicked her tail in annoyance, and I left her alone.

I came back to check on her in the late afternoon, and found that she had sufficiently recovered to be interested in food and water. She wasn't completely better, though; she still had a headache.

She was also not at all amused by me taking pictures of her. She confiscated my camera and glared at me until she fell asleep.

Update: Bamboo attempted another escape despite obviously not being cut out for the night life. Luckily mom managed to catch her. She has been grounded until further notice and is currently sulking up on Lissi's bed.

Caiti Gets Confused

2011-04-06T21:16:00.004-06:00

This is Caitlyn.

She is the youngest of my seven younger siblings, and with both her "baby of the family" status and her natural adorableness she is understandably adored wherever she goes. She is showered with trips, treats, and praise for her precocious babblings, and to make her cry is to break one's own heart.

And then sometimes we remember what the word "spoiled" means.

Today was a big day in the house. Little Cami turned seven so PARTY TIMES WERE HAD. By which I mean there were cupcakes after dinner, presents were unwrapped, and my brother battled embarrassment to bring home some pink balloons.

This confused Caiti. First there were the balloons. She gets to go to Roberts sometimes, where they give free balloons to children, so shouldn't at least one of those balloons be for her? Especially because they were pink, a color that is the favorite of both Cami and Caiti. Then there were presents. Cami's birthday is the first in the year, so the last experience Cait had with presents was Christmas, where she got everything due to a cheerful, adorable two-year-old. So why didn't she get any of those presents? Gift after gift was unwrapped by the older sister, while Caiti alternated between trying to claim a gift for herself and getting in the way of mom's photos and dad's filming.

Then the lack of sleep hit, and the screaming began. She was no longer content to try to gain some attention; she demanded attention and gifts, and she demanded it now. She was placated for a moment with the balloons, as Cami was playing with her new presents and didn't care, but as soon as the presents lost their extreme newness Cam came looking for something else to do. And as a child who had once been the baby of the family, she delights in making the new baby upset.

The screaming commenced as the balloons were, in Cait's mind, so rudely ripped away just when they were getting to know each other. Unable to handle the noise, older people instigated negotiations, and Cami was persuaded to give up a couple of balloons.

Cait ended the night happy.

(Or at least she was happy until bedtime was talked of, but that's another story.)

State of the Shop Address

2011-04-01T08:19:00.002-06:00

I'm sure everyone is just dying to know how the Quiet Mischief Etsy shop is doing, and even if you're not, I really want to put up a bunch of stats and feel proud of them. Hence this report on the first quarter of this year.

189 items sold this quarter (324 total)
94 PDF tutorials
19 duct tape rose rings
7 duct tape rose hair clips
3 custom orders

42 tiny friendship bracelet sets
6 sets of wish bracelets
5 bracelets costing $20 or more
5 flame patterned bracelets

272 shop hearts this quarter (498 total)

Top five hearted items:
146 hearts on the PDF tutorial
90 hearts on the rainbow set of tiny friendship bracelets
40 on the neon rainbow rose ring
30 on the custom rose ring order form
29 on the black heart duct tape ring

First sale: January 5th
Last sale: March 30th
Most items sold in one day: 10 on March 15th
Most items sold in one month: 104 in March

Compare these numbers to my last state of the shop address, and you'll find that I'm doing better. Much, much better. Most of the numbers here are significantly higher than those of the last post, and the last post was for a full year while this one is just three months. Now you see why I was so excited to write this post. : D

Before I close this post, I want to address the last part of my last post: my goals for the year. Here they are:

Average 20 sales a month
I thought this was a decent goal for the year. I had sold 24 items in December, but that was a holiday month that was universally expected to bring high numbers. However, I am currently averaging more than 20 sales a week, and have almost made enough sales that I could stop now and still have 20 per month for the year. My new goal is to average 30 sales a week by the end of the year (though how things are growing maybe I should shoot for the end of the next quarter?)

Get over 100 hearts on a single item
Another goal that, at the end of the year, seemed challenging but doable. However, we have already gotten almost 150 hearts on the item I thought most likely to get to 100 hearts, and we have another item 10 away from 100. Obviously this goal needs some revamping as well. I'm shooting for two goals here now; one is to get 300 hearts on one item, and to have at least five items with over 100 hearts.

Sell a single bracelet priced at $40 or more ($35 is my current record in an off-Etsy purchase)
This became a goal both because I had started concentrating on wider and more difficult bracelets, and because I had a specific bracelet I was working on that would be priced at $40 if not more. That bracelet has not been finished, nor has any other really wide one, due to the explosion of our shop in early March and the wholesale orders that started before that. Therefore, I still have some time to go before I can really try for this goal.

Get on the front page of Etsy, in Etsy finds, or be featured on the Etsy blog
Sometime in January or February I despaired of achieving this goal. All I can really do is have the best pictures possible and try to stay visible so that the right people will notice me at the right time, and even supposing that happened, I didn't think that my style of pictures and my items would fit in with the usual items that are featured. In other words, I was sure I wasn't indie enough. However, on March 4th, abnormally high activity in my shop led me to find out that I had been featured in the Etsy Finds email. I was absolutely floored, and I am sure that my abnormally high numbers for the rest of the month are due at least in part to that feature.

Have 550 shop hearts
I haven't quite hit 550 shop hearts yet, but with only 52 to go I could probably do so this month. So instead I want to shoot for 1000 shop hearts by the end of the year.

See you next quarter!

peeks around corner

2011-03-28T07:20:00.005-06:00

Hi.

Some people keep saying (or maybe just one person keeps saying, I'm not sure which) that I should update this blog more often. And even I admit that having a blog is a good idea for a person who
a) has a shop that could benefit from more traffic being directed to it
b) has many stories to tell
c) is a writer for crying out loud.

So I've come up with a few ideas that I want to work with and hope to have some actual content up soon. Meanwhile, here's some news:

I am currently waiting for a surprise in the mail that I will share with all of you when it comes.

I now have official work hours (whenever I'm not needed for something else) and an official work space (my bed, which, when all set up for work, I call my work cave.)

Caiti is now much better after having thrown up two or three times at or around three in the morning.

Yuki (our other cat, not this one) is plotting to kill us all and, in the mean time, expresses her hatred through glares and growls.

I'm going to be doing a stats post in early April, and it will be exciting!

And now excuse me so I may start my ten to twelve hour workday.

For lo, cleanliness is nigh unto godliness

2011-01-19T09:54:00.007-07:00

Half of my favorited shops on Etsy are soap shops. I've only ever made one soap purchase, but it's more for lack of money than anything else. With more funds I would gladly buy five times as much soap as I and my good friends could ever use.

As this is so, I had to make a soap treasury. Actually I will probably make several soap treasuries as time goes on, but this is the first. It has little direction. I just wanted to showcase some fantastic soaps I had come across.

Pomtini by TallulahsSoaps

This one was the last one I found, and when I saw it I knew it must go in the treasury. I love the colors. It almost seems to glow.

Root Beer by luxuryfalls

This one smells like root beer, which I find amusing, but that's not why I chose it. I love the marbling effect on this bar, and also that it seems to go all through the bar. It's pretty enough when only the top is swirled, but to swirl the whole bar must take some effort.

Pandora's Promise by Intentions

I have had Intentions in my favorite shops for a loooooong time, mostly because of how fun her soaps look. This one was chosen because it looked the most fun, and I was trying to feature fun soaps as well as beautiful ones.

Speaking of fun soaps...

Sunny Side Up - Goats Milk Soap Bar by soapopotamus

Animal Cracker Soap Set by aBreathofFrenchair

Yep, fried egg soap and animal cracker soap. The fried egg soap comes from another of my longtime favorite shops, and is full of all kinds of food soaps, mostly desserts such as doughnuts and cake. The animal cracker soap was made from molds made from real animal crackers, so are exactly like!

One Angel Wing Soap in Grace by SatinandBirch

I saved the most beautiful soap for last. While this soap cannot boast of a huge bar, and the emphasis is not so much on the scent, this is still the star of the show. And if cleanliness is next to godliness, surely bathing with angel wings will get you extra points.

Click here to see the full treasury, and don't forget to share this blog post and/or the treasury with your soap-loving friends!

Yeah, Maybe

2011-01-17T10:09:00.001-07:00

I laid out all of my thread by color so I could more easily work on choosing colors for a project.

"No one should own this much thread," said my brother Ben.

Honestly

2011-01-11T08:05:00.004-07:00

Remember how I was ranting about whale playing cards being one of my top keywords? It was number three or something. Well, today I signed into my Google Analytics and found this:

Yes, that's right. 'Whale playing cards' is now my number one phrase for people finding my shop. Not only is it number one, but look at this spike (click to make it larger):

What on earth happened last Thursday that made so many people (or one person many times, I can't tell) search for 'whale playing cards' and then go to my shop? What was it??

The Best of the Best

2011-01-07T14:42:00.008-07:00

I have finally created my first treasury. It has taken me this long to try it because a) I am lazy and b) I kept getting frustrated and giving up because there were so many things I wanted to feature but wouldn't because the product photos weren't great. I am so determined to fix all of my photos now...

Anyway, the theme I finally decided on was A Life's Work, or in other words, really fantastic pieces created by talented people. You can see the whole treasury here. But here are some highlights:

Skintenna Top by BrightCircle
This was the one that inspired me to do this showcase. I stumbled on this one while trying to create a different treasury, and then searched out 11 other items to go with it. This took 90 hours of work, people. If that's not dedication I don't know what is.

robot pixel mashup fair isle sweater by elf518
Now that I have finished one item and therefore officially taken up knitting as a hobby, I have become a lot more interested in the craft. Something I really want to learn is fair isle knitting. This is a particularly fantastic example of the technique.

Tiger Lily Chinese Brush Painting by CLineCreations
I found CLineCreations through her bobby pins, which are decorated with a knot done in silky cording. (I now own one in pink and white cord.) However, I was also impressed with her brush paintings. Having admired them for months, I had to put one in this treasury.

That's only three examples from the treasury. Click here to see the rest of it, and marvel at the talent as I did.

Odd Ways to Find Us

2011-01-05T12:37:00.003-07:00

The Etsy shop is registered with Google Analytics, which provides us with all sorts of wonderful goodies about the people who visit our shop. One of my favorite things is the part that tells us what keywords people have used in search engines that have led them to our shop. Most of these make sense - keywords or phrases having to do with duct tape and friendship bracelets - and some of them are very odd.

It only shows the keywords for the last month or so, so I can't find everything that has been used to find us, but I can provide some.

2 visits "amy butler olive seeds"
2 visits "world war ii pin up costumes"
1 visit "abby sciuto costume"
1 visit "edible massage candle"
1 visit "who designed the breakfast at tiffany's sleep mask"

And the oddest one of all - whale playing cards, 24 hits.

Really? Whale playing cards? 24 HITS? How does that make any sense? Especially because I know this number has been higher and seems to be regularly used - 18 of the last 31 days have hits, including yesterday. ??? My only guess is that it counts when people come to Etsy by searching for whale playing cards and then view my shop before leaving Etsy.

...

Actually, that's probably how I got all of these hits. People look for stuff, find their way to Etsy, and visit my shop before heading off into the internets again. Well that makes some of these less odd.

I STILL THINK 24 HITS FROM WHALE PLAYING CARDS IS ODD

A Year of Etsy

2011-01-01T17:52:00.003-07:00

This was my first full year of having an Etsy shop, and I think things went pretty well. Here are some stats for 2010!

119 items sold (total: 141)
26 PDF tutorials
23 duct tape rose rings
15 custom orders

20 sets of wish bracelets
14 alpha bracelets
7 bracelets costing $20 or more
6 charm bracelets
5 flame patterned bracelets

6 bracelets so lame there is no way I would put them up for sale if I still had them

199 shop hearts (total: 230)
We have every letter represented with at least one username aside from U, Y, and Z. Also, 28 of those hearts are secret admirers.

344 item hearts
Top five hearted items:
38 hearts on the PDF tutorial
14 hearts on the custom order form for one rose ring
13 hearts on the dark rainbow plaid bracelet
11 hearts on the zebra duct tape rose ring
10 hearts on both the pink peacock bracelet and the duct tape sunflower pen
This may not be too accurate, because until only recently, when an item sold and was then renewed it was a whole new listing and lost all views and hearts. If not for this, our Charlie ring and white rainbow plaid bracelet would probably be on this list, and the black plaid and custom order form would have had more.

First sale made on January 3, 2010 (a ridges bracelet)
Last sale made on December 31 (the PDF tutorial)
Most items sold in one day: five on December 13th
Most items sold in one month: 25 in December

*beams*

Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself.

While looking through these stats, I noticed that, in the four months from me starting me shop to the end of 2009, I made over 20 sales, the first within about a week of opening. That's pretty fantastic. Some people on Etsy wait months to have their first sale. I always felt like I'd had to wait forever for a sale and then had really slow sales, but compared with a lot of newbies, my shop was on fire! I suppose then that it is only right that things continue to get better, especially with how well this year ended.

Goals for 2011:
Average 20 sales a month
Get over 100 hearts on a single item
Sell a single bracelet priced at $40 or more ($35 is my current record in an off-Etsy purchase)
Get on the front page of Etsy, in Etsy finds, or be featured on the Etsy blog
Have 550 shop hearts

She's Mad At Us

2010-12-31T14:46:00.004-07:00

This is Bamboo.

She's not the happiest of kitties right now.

First of all, something bit her and created an oozing sore that got blood all over Melissa's sheets.

Then we took her to the vet, got the area shaved and cleaned, and put a cone on her head.

You decide which one of these incidents was the most obnoxious to her.

Me, I'm just going to nurse the scratches on my hand and giggle as she catches the cone on things.

Why Does No One Agree With Me?

2010-12-29T20:18:00.005-07:00

I am not feeling well, and as some of you may know, when I don't feel well I whine A LOT. I've actually done it so much that I am sick of whining about the pains in my tummy and need something else to complain about. So! I'm going to complain about things in my shop that I really like but that haven't sold (or at least not as well as I want them to).

This bracelet was the second one I made of this pattern, but it was supposed to be the first. However, I didn't have enough black thread when I first set out to make this bracelet and ended up making one with a white background. Only later did I make a black one. I liked both of these bracelets so much, and they have been so popular with others, that I have made them two of the few permanent friendship bracelets in the shop, listed as made to order and always relisted when sold.

My problem is that everyone buys the white one. I mean yeah, the white one is awesome too. But the black one? This bracelet is awesome. I chose fantastic colors, if I do say so myself, and they almost glow against the black. But let's go to the scoreboard:

White: 4 sold, 1 requested as a gift, 1 traded
Black: 1 sold

This was pretty much the first bracelet I listed on Etsy. Or at least one of the first three. It got a lot a views and a lot of hearts compared to the rest of the shop. It was rather well made even compared to my knotting now. When market season started it was taken off Etsy and put in our market discount bowl because it was older and had been made back when I knotted both ends of the braided ties.

I still have it.

I admit that this one here could be a picture problem. I have been unable to take good pictures of the any of the seasons bracelets despite several attempts. Hmm. I haven't tried in a while. Maybe I should try again. Or maybe I should give up on these ones. But... but... I likes them!

The End

2010-11-09T08:44:00.000-07:00

Since the Epic Bracelet went to its owner like two months ago, I suppose I could post some pictures of the final product.

Yep, that's it. Biggest bracelet I've ever made. So far, anyway. I want to make one that says Quiet Mischief and Company, and I'm considering doing one that says 100 Hour Board. Both just for me. But since I am spending every free waking minute typing these days, I don't have much time for non-work projects.

...what's that? Why am I spending every free waking minute typing?

NaNoWriMo.

Those of you who have been around my blog awhile know that I used get a little more vocal this time of year - two years ago I posted almost every day in the month of November. However, last year I was trying to get typing in along with actually having a job (*gasp*) and trying to run a newborn online shop and didn't have time for blogging. This year? I'm just lazy.

And it's too bad I haven't been talking about things. I've had some exciting times this year already. You know how it's the ninth of November today? And we have until the 30th to write 50,000 words? Yeah, hit 50,000 last night a little before six PM, having written the last 1500 in about half an hour because my boyfriend was hurrying over to stop me from hitting 50,000 (jerk).

There's Some Green!

2010-08-20T20:24:00.003-06:00

So I've been meaning to upload pictures of the Epic Bracelet for a little while, but was hoping that I would be able to be a little more interesting about it. The need for an update has forced me to post them without anything to say. *sigh*

By the end of this row, I was on my third skein of white.

Not only am I almost done with the 'n' in Ethan, I have also started adding the green in!

Whoo-hoo!

?

Also, a picture from my merchandise photo shoot today:

No, Really

2010-08-19T09:41:00.002-06:00

YOU GUYS.

I have always wanted to learn to belly dance.

For those of you who know me, that is an outright laughable thing to say. I am a quiet, shy girl who loathes dancing of all kinds (or so we all thought), not to mention that I have yet to find even a one-piece bathing suit that fits my idea of modesty. I honestly have no clue why one of my glaring contradictions (a girl has to have a few glaring contradictions in her life) is that I want to belly dance.

I was reminded of this a week ago today while at my Pleasant Grove market. A theater group was performing Romeo and Juliet, but the market was starting to slowly fill with other performers, ones who jangled when they walked, flowed in the breeze, and had black screening over their otherwise bare stomachs. (This is Utah County we're talking about.) We had started cleaning up when the belly dancers finally went onstage, but I stopped to watch them anyway, and wished that I could forget my booth altogether.

I love how a good bellydancer moves, especially the separation between hips and torso. I mean, that's just crazy! "Lemme just be perfectly still from the waist up while my hips are gettin' all up in your business," I'd say. Though belly dancing is not all about the hips; often the arms get into the action too. And the hair. There is always a lot of hair. (There's another reason why I cannot be a belly dancer - my hair is, by my estimation, about six inches too short. At least. You never see a chick all swingin' her hips about in a jangly bra and skirt with her hair cut just below her jaw. The cropping is in the top, not the hair.)

Maybe it's just that I want to wear the jangly, flowy outfit, like people who buy designer jogging outfits to lounge around the house in. I have often noticed that I very much admire certain styles but feel that I could never pull them off, or that I'd have to apologize for dressing like that. "Sorry," I'd say to the indie girl I met in the street, "I'm not really like you at all. I don't listen to obscure bands or shop at thrift stores or anything. I just really like the look."

So no matter how much I want to belly dance, I think this is one dream that's not coming true. The hair, outfits, the dancing; it just wasn't meant to be.

Unicorns

2010-08-15T15:18:00.002-06:00

Siri, our current expert on all things pink and sparkly, is here to answer your questions and fill the gaps in your knowledge. Today's topic: unicorns.

Q: When did the legend of the unicorns start?
A: I don't know. Last year.

Q: Is there any truth to it?
A: What?

Q: The legend. Of the unicorns. How much of it is real?
A: Unicorns are real!

Q: Where do they live?
A: They live in South America, on a farm where horses live.

Q: What do they look like?
A: They look like brown horses. They are white. They are white and pink. They are 20 feet tall. They have very long twisty-tidies with pokes at the end. The twisty-tidies are pink. Pink is my favorite color! But some unicorns don't have swirly things, twisty-tidies. They might have mistletoe! They have very big hooves, and they wear shoes on them. The shoes look like cat toes. Like cat-unicorn toes. Babies are two feet tall and have little paws like kitties.

Q: Okay, thank you. Um, what do unicorns eat?
A: They eat hay. And chickens. And they drink! Unicorns drink!

Q: What do they drink?
A: They drink water.

Q: What do unicorns do?
A: They go gallup-a-trot, and dance (here Cami did some head-banging and break-dancing), and some of them sneak, like cats, but sometimes they have to sit on their body or curl up so people can get on them. They go up on their hind legs, but magically, right up high like a little bird. Unicorns tip over, and guess what they can do? They walk on two legs, up high and down low, and then their sharp, their poke, it gets sharper. They can freak out. And they wave good-bye at their very own friends.

Q: Wow, that's -
A: They can go to unicorn parties. They eat horse food, or they can eat somebody else's food. And they grow up and up and up. And they will have problems, if they don't have the very sharp ones on their heads. Give them a drink and horse medicine, and take them to the unicorn doctor. The unicorn doctor will check out the throat and the tummy, and check out what things look like.

Q: Uh -
A: I saw a unicorn, far away, by Timpanogas Cave, and it ran like a blur far away all the way to the end. Unicorns neigh like horses. But they can't talk. And they go to school, and they can have fun at school! And they have to go to the bathroom. And the unicorns have a big, big unicorn computer.

Here I distracted her by mentioning princesses, then trapped her in the closet. She eventually talked herself to sleep.

It's Coming Along

2010-08-09T10:12:00.003-06:00

Also: listened to 45 minutes or so of radio, with stations being changed every 10 seconds or so, and recognized 10 songs. Yeah, that's right.

Epic Bracelets at Market

2010-07-27T14:21:00.004-06:00

I last worked on the bracelet in question at Saturday's market. Mondays I ship orders, you see, and so far today I haven't been able to get much done for various reasons. : (

I have finished the e in ethan, and started the c in charlotte.

Lena made a cute little piggy! (Not related to my bracelet, but it's cute, so I'm sure you'll forgive me.)

I hit the stopping point for the day; the c in charlotte is finished and the t in ethan has been started.

My dad's car stopped working on Thursday, so we had to use my mother's car. And we had to be picked up. So Lissi had to sit in the back among the flotsam of our book. She was nearly killed by a large table and had to sit in the car until I pulled several things away.

The Epic Bracelet: Part One

2010-07-23T10:53:00.004-06:00

I am undertaking a rather difficult bracelet, by far the most difficult one I have so much as thought of. A friend of mine commissioned it for her sister. Read on to see just how difficult this bracelet will be.

Here are my materials: seven skeins of white, four of pink, three of red, and three of green. Will I need it all? Probably not, but it's good to be prepared. Nothing like trying to finish a bracelet on a deadline only to find that you've run out of a specific color.

Here are a couple of terrible pictures trying to show my sketchbook - graphbook- whatever - where I have mapped out what has to get done in this bracelet. Yes, I do have to fit all three names in the large alphabet.

All of the currently needed threads cut and ready to go. So far I have used two skeins of red, two of pink, and I'm on my second skein of white. The green will come into play later.

One row done. I've made 31 knots so far. And now I must undo them, because I left out one pink string. : (

All correct now. 32 knots (I don't count the ones I have to unpick).

Three rows in and just under 100 knots. Also, fun facts: the biggest bracelet I have done, aside from this one, had 34 threads (one more than this bracelet) but was only 17 knots across (this one is 32 knots across).

And the stopping point for now. Not very much lengthwise, but I'm up to 224 knots.

Come Home, Mommy!

2010-06-10T10:00:00.004-06:00

This is Camryn.

She was being rather funny yesterday. That is, she was being funny in between bothering my brother's poor puppy (who will always be a puppy no matter how old he gets) and generally misbehaving.

It started at lunch. She had found a clip that we use to hold salad bags closed, and decided it was a phone. She sat next to me, sharing my cucumbers and carrots, and occasionally making phone calls.

"Hello, Mommy. Say hello to mommy!"

I said hello, adding that I was eating lunch and couldn't talk right now.

"She can't talk right now. But mommy, you need to come home now. Okay. Bye."

Cami put down the phone and informed me that mom was on her way home.

Several more phone calls were made, and they started to all sound the same; she changed "Mommy, you need to come home" to "Come home Mommy" and "Mommy, come home." Why is that change significant?

(Skip ahead to 0:44 if you don't want to watch the whole thing.)

Later she told my brother Dano that she was going to build a "zapinator" that would zap mom back to our house. Then mom would ask, "Cami, why am I here?" and Cami would say "I made a zapinator to zap you back home!" Then mom would say "Oh, how sweet! Why don't you come with me?"

This is Caiti. She's 2.

Around dinner, Ben took the kids for a walk with Perry (the aforementioned puppy). When Caiti came home, she came up to me, told me something about the walk, craned her neck to see what I was watching on my laptop, and said, "Whatcha doin'?"

Market Adventures: Week Three

2010-05-31T13:27:00.005-06:00

May 29
Week Three

Hooray for mild success! We sold over $30 today. Nowhere near what I would like it to be, but better than we have done before.

We owe much of it to Lissi. Her duct tape rings were the most popular item on the table, at least as far as actual purchasing goes.

The item that got the most views was the duct tape tie.

We have a couple of ideas why the tie didn't sell: there was only one, and, while cool, people didn't seem to realize it was wearable. We're going to fix this by having several next week, and having at least one of them that is actually tied for people to see and try on. We will not, however, lower the price, which is what a fellow vendor snottily suggested. *angry face*

Our setup overall looked better than last week. I'm constantly learning and changing things. I only wish we could afford real displays instead of cobbling them together with fabric and boxes.

I'm excited for next week, as usual, and hope that things will continue to get better. I'm sure they will, in fact, especially if I can get Lissi to stop looking for monologues and start making more duct tape items.

Market Adventures: Week Two

2010-05-26T10:16:00.006-06:00

Here I am! And I have excuses for not posting this until Wednesday. They involve cats, driving, grumpiness on the part of myself and others, and a boyfriend who thinks I should hang out with him all the time or something.

Anyway. On with the show.

May 22
Week Two

The good news: despite terrible weather in the morning that I was sure would prevent any buyers, we set up and did manage to sell a bit.
The bad news: We made just enough to make our necessary stall payment, with no money for new supplies or even for change for next week.

However! Like last week, I am still optimistic; still sure that things are going to get better.

We changed our set up from the get-go, see?

It did do us proud. We got lots of people who were interested by different things. Some stopped to look at wish bracelets. Some noticed one or the other displays of my bracelets. Some noticed the bowls of discount bracelets. And some noticed the duct tape item.

Item, yeah, only one so far. But a good one. Lissi sat there with her tape and her clipboard and made a tiny rose, then attached it to a simple band. All duct tape. She made a tag, set the price as seven dollars, and put it in a bowl on the table.

It sold in five minutes.

Yeah, I'm glad I have her along. By this Saturday we're planning to have several items: more rings, a couple of ties, some flowers to carry and look pretty, and a couple of smaller flowers attached to headbands or barrettes. I'm excited. : D

And we have Lena's stuff now!

Aren't they pretty? I want one, and I don't even know what I'd do with it! When we have money for supplies, I'm totally going to get some of that string stuff for making bracelets.

All in all, it was an okay day. We did better than I expected, though we did have to suffer in the cold.

I was the one taking pictures, so I'm not in this one, but I was also wrapped in a blanket. Mine had Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Goofy, and Donald on it. : D

And there's one thing we brought home from Market that made me really happy.

This tiny little bundle of joy is a beautiful tabby/calico mix with lots of energy. Her name is Bamboo and we love her. Well, Yuki doesn't think much of this little intruder, but the rest of us love her. Hopefully Yuki will calm down in time.

Here's to high hopes for next week!

2nd Market To-Do List

2010-05-21T07:36:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is the second week of Market! Here's what I need to get done today:

Load everything into the car again, but better this time, so I don't think I've left things behind

Find the other tablecloth

Make business cards or something

Start about five bracelets, including two custom orders

Buy stickers

Make a cover page for the animal shelter photos so people don't ask us if we're selling dogs

Remember to eat

Get to bed on time

Looks like I have a couple things that will need to get done every Friday. Also, I need to remember to take pictures of things.

Market Adventures: Week One

2010-05-17T09:56:00.001-06:00

May 15th
Week One

The good news: we made more than any week last year.
The bad news: that’s only about $27.

But I still feel optimistic. Want to know why? I hope you want to know why, because I’m going to tell you. I mean, you don’t have to read it all, but why wouldn’t you? We all know that I am a wonderful writer and hold you entranced. Yep. I’m going to go with that.

Item number one: our set up.
I’ve been reading up on good stuff to do for markets and shows, and though I do ponder all advice, I don’t always follow it. One thing I didn’t follow was that it was strongly suggested that the table with merchandise be completely in view of the passers-by. I rejected this because I didn’t want the table to be between me and potential customers. However, after most of the day and most of the Market-goers simply passing by, I moved the table to the suggested position. We didn’t get any more sales, but we did get a lot more people actually stopping to look at stuff instead of walking by with only a glance.

Item number two: our neighbors.
There were several problems with them. They were too darn nice, for one. Also, they both had the set up I at first opposed. Also, they both had interesting items (one was chainmail jewelry, the other hair accessories in an uber-popular style) while our most visible items were our simple wish bracelets. Sigh.

Item number three: timing.
The morning was chilly. It was the wrong kind of first day, i.e. the first day where everyone doesn’t even know about or forgets it rather than the first day where everyone lines up to see.

Item number four: displays.
Yeah, I need something better than fabric wrapped around cardboard boxes. One of our neighbors had this gorgeous set up with vintage picture frames with fabric inside so they could pin products to it, and lovely trays for rings, and all sorts of stuff. : P

Item number five: personality.
We… usually… said hi to people to who passed, and sometimes even asked them how they were doing. I need something better. Lissi, who is usually so outgoing, kept her head bent over her work and relied on me to call out first so she could look up and say something too.

Well, I figure that’s enough to work on for one week, especially since I do have more merchandise to make and I need to quit ignoring my Etsy shop. Sheesh!

But I’ll say it again: I’d rather do this than work for someone else.

Today's Adventures with Food

2010-05-16T18:50:00.003-06:00

-Siri poured herself a full cup of juice, drank three mouthfuls, and dumped the rest of it in the sink.

-Why am I eating Pop Tarts for breakfast when my sister asks for them by saying, "Cookie, please"?

-Lunch? What's lunch?

-Oh, fine, maybe I'll eat something. And by "something" I mean "two helpings of potatoes when I should have eaten only one, followed by enough cookies to make me sick."

-Siri poured herself a cup of ranch for her veggies, then put the (full) cup in the sink and stole dad's.

-Small spoon + large spaghetti sauce jar = wow, I'm not going to dig that spoon out. Good job, Ty.

-Siri nearly dumped the entire can of spaghetti sauce onto the floor. Both Ben and Ty had to help her.

-When no one was watching, Siri opened the 'spoon' side of the parmesan cheese and dumped a good half cup onto her spaghetti. We put the large chunk back in, and then dad shook the excess cheese onto his and Boo's spaghetti.

-Ty dropped the second spaghetti spoon into the sauce.

-Apparently really really old chocolate milk turns white when frozen.

Siri

2010-05-16T17:04:00.003-06:00

Yeah, so, Market update when I am not so flippin' tired. But here is what Siri said to me as we walked to church:

"Let's walk and talk. Do you remember when that family came to stay with us last year? And poof! They burst into flame. Hey look, Ginny's here. And do you know what I saw? I say lots of birds flying everywhere!"

Yep. That's why we keep her around.

Stay tuned for her interview on unicorns.

My To-Do List

2010-05-14T07:27:00.006-06:00

It's the day before the first day of Market, and here's what I need to do today:

Keep siblings from killing each other.

Take out the seats in the car.

Load everything into the car.

Finish a whole bunch of bracelets.

Remember to eat.

Get pictures developed at BYU.

Wash all bracelets.

Build one last display.

Make and print off signs.

Sleep in my own bed.

Not stay up with Caitlyn.

Oh Please No!

2010-04-29T06:59:00.002-06:00

As of this typing, there is ice on my brother's scooter.

Ice.

Hey, did mother nature forget what time of year it is? It's almost May! May!!! This is no time for ice! This is no time for cold!

I mean, yeah, I do stay in the house most days, but I wouldn't if it was warm! I have loved the couple of times I've moved my work to the front yard or even a park and watched the kids play. But it seems for every day it's possible to spend in this manner, we get a week of sweatshirts and shivering.

And another thing! Market starts in about two and half weeks. Market means getting up at six on Saturdays to eat a bit, make sure everything's gathered and out to the car, pick up a friend, cut roses, and head off to the park to set up in early morning sunshine (assuming there is sunshine), where we then sit for several hours. Are you telling me I'll be sitting in the cold? I don't like being cold.

I haven't been working on my fingerless gloves because I've been assuming it would warm up. I never managed to make a new hat either. I do have blankets and even a fur cloak, but that's a lot of extra to carry and I can never get anything done when all wrapped up. Plus no one wants to wander and shop at leisure when the weather is cold. Bleh.

In unrelated news, my mother is biking for seven hours today and has commandeered the TV, meaning I either get to watch Gone With the Wind or I can pump music into my ears via headphones.

Meh

2010-04-15T16:43:00.003-06:00

"Mom, why isn't the printer working??"

"Well, have you plugged it in?"

*blink blink*

"Arrrrrg!"

2010-04-14T22:34:00.002-06:00

I keep saying this stuff about "updating my blog" and "being interesting" and all that stuff. Well, really, I WILL. I'm... I'm working on it. You know. Working. On it. Like a lot.

"Please don't tell me you haven't memorized your part yet."
"Sorry. I haven't."
"Joss! How can you possibly go through life like this? You're late to important meetings, you don't listen to instructions, you don't finish any of your work... what am I going to do with you?"
"Fire me! Oh please, Megan, please fire me!"

The problem is that I've finally learned to Be Efficient and Get Work Done, so instead of goofing of by writing blog posts or short stories or starts of stories or anything I'm actually working. I'm doing at least 5-6 hours hours of work every day, and when 'work' means 'sitting in the same position while knotting little threads over and over and over,' it is not only sometimes tedious but painful. But still! And then there's the picture taking, and the internet stuff, not to mention that I am an unpaid Mother's Helper to my mother...

Then it gets to be after ten or eleven at night. As those on the Board Board know, I get a little loopy and/or incoherent after nine. So here I am, making stupid decisions because I'm loopy (not going to bed is one of those stupid decisions), and I think to myself, "You know, I'm really not that tired or anything. I should... write stuff! Yeah! Like, blog posts and crap! I need to get a lot of writing done if I ever want to have a presence on the internets again, and having a presence on the internets is very important in this day and age..." Thankfully I am much smarter in the morning, though being smarter means I end up having nothing to post.

Cat Charms!

2010-04-07T18:34:00.015-06:00

I have a page for the custom orders I have done, to show prospective customers what I can do. So I figured I should have a page for the charms I have in stock, so that people can choose charms too! But I have too many to put on one page and still have it be at all reasonable, so I'm splitting it up.

Here are the cat charms I have:

I tried several things to put numbers to each of these but have failed thus far, so if you want one of these, it will have to be a "this many from the top" kind of affair.

...hi

2010-04-05T21:54:00.003-06:00

I wonder, now, if any of my old readers have held on this long. I mean, for me, when someone quits writing I forget about their blog but keep it in my reader, so if they do ever start up again I do see it. "Oh yeah," I say, "that person exists." So I suppose that unless people do spring cleaning, I'm still hanging around. At least for those who use reader or something like that.

I returned to my blog here for several reasons. One: I have a topic! I'm pretty dang excited to announce that we're going to Provo's Farmers Market again this year, and this time we'll start at the start (May 15) and go to the end (October sometime I think) and we'll even have a permanent stall!

Which brings me to number two: Holy crap I have to work my butt off this month. The store averages less than $100 a month, and even last month, a huge upswing in sales, only got us $161. And that's before fees and tithing and such. And the monies for Market are due the 30th of this month, and it's $375. ...yeah.

Number three: Die-hard friends and readers of mine will know that I love to complain. Well, for once it isn't about being sick! I spent all afternoon and evening working on bracelets, and I don't mean making them. I only worked on actual knotting before noon. Then I set out all my bracelets, recorded how much I was selling them for, counted and recorded every single knot in every single bracelet, and used this knowledge of knots to work out how much the bracelets should be if I want to have the price cover both the cost of the materials and pay me $4-$5 per hour. Yeah, that's right, $4-$5 per hour. Fun fact: my biggest bracelet, now priced at $20, has over 1100 knots. Yowza.

Number four: You should totally buy bracelets from me. 'Cause they're awesome. And, as I mentioned, I need the money.

Number five: I believe this is easily known by now, but I'll say it anyway: I'm hoping to use this blog to get more customers to my shop and/or booth. Aside from earning the $375 this month, and then earning that and hopefully more over Market, I really really want to show my brother that I can earn money doing this. He's been very annoyed by me not getting a 'real' job.

That's all for now, I suppose. Hopefully I'll get my book/writing blog back up too; I miss writing!

What Else Needs to Happen???

2010-02-25T21:49:00.002-07:00

Teenagers. They're a despised class in pretty much every generation, even more so now. They're lazy. They dress funny. They have no values. They don't care about work or future. They hate their teachers and detest homework. They sit around on iPods and internet all day without a care in the world.

So when a bunch of them stand up, stand together, and protest budget cuts that will end in the firing of a whole bunch of teachers, what is the response of the administration?

“We appreciate the passion. We appreciate that they love their teachers. I think students will get behind any cause that impacts them, and I think that’s a good thing, but I just think that their efforts are a little misdirected. I think the best way they can show passion for their teachers is to be sitting in class. They need to be in class. They need to allow their parents and their teachers to fight this battle because that’s where it really lies.” - Melinda Colton, district spokeswoman

In other words, they got patted on the head and sent back to their rooms. No, don't fight this, kids. Leave it to the parents and teachers. Leave it to the adults. Leave it to the adults who probably fully support the actions of you kids. Leave it to the adults, because when layabout teenagers start protesting with shouts of "save our teachers!" you get a lot of attention and we'd really rather solve this our way.

You see, we want to raise taxes and yet make budget cuts. We administrators need to afford our nice suits when our teachers are taking second jobs. And, above all, we need to avoid doing this the obvious way. ("...a legislative committee voted down a proposal that would have equalized funding between the Canyons and Jordan school districts, created by a split last year. The measure would have helped fill a 30-million dollar budget deficit faced by the Jordan School District." - Barbara Smith, abc news)

This protest, which came to my attention by watching the news tonight, was only a reminder of an old source of anger. But I'll get into that tomorrow, and leave you with a link to the article I got my quotes from. Jordan high school students walk out in protest

My Bracelet Adventures

2010-02-25T19:58:00.004-07:00

I have, by now, created several custom bracelets for people. Unfortunately I didn't get pictures of all of them, but the pictures I did get I will put up here, and add to it as I do more orders. This will be the link I give when people want to see examples of my work. Hooray!

This one I made for a young woman to give to her friend. It was, at the time, the biggest bracelet I had attempted. Very wide, very long. But it turned out really well!

"Lambie Pie" "nishreen" and "THE NIAM." No, I don't know what the last two mean, but they look pretty good, don't they? The middle one uses rather difficult alphabet, one that does not at all translate from paper to knotted thread. I had to mess with every letter, some of them extensively, but it came out well.

These... are not the best pictures in the world. But I have to go with what I've got! Anyway. Two bracelets, one saying "you'll never" and the other "walk alone." Only no full stop there, but I have to put one there because of grammar. Yep.

I made this one for my cousin. It made me very happy to be able to finally use this alphabet. I'd been looking for an excuse to use it since I'd discovered it.

And another bracelet that I was happy to undertake for my own reasons! I'd been wanting to try out switching colors for a long time, but didn't have enough drive to create my own project. So it was a happy day that presented me with the chance!

An Etsy friend of mine requested this bracelet because the charm reminded her of her cat. She told me his name and that he was grey and white, then we set a price and she told me to do what I wanted. So I did the cat's name with cat ears on either side of it.

The Middle of December

2009-12-18T10:51:00.004-07:00

Christmas is in a week, a week from today, and I work that day. And I'm excited to work that day. I only wish I worked in the Magic Kingdom, but Downtown Disney is good enough. And on that day we'll have Santa Goofy coming to Downtown instead of regular Santa! We'll get a character!

Oh, look, there are now three ornaments on the tree that don't have anything to do with Disney.

Back home, Siri cut her hair again and has it boyishly short, my sister is assistant stage manager in her school musical, Caiti is talking all the time... I miss those guys. I miss them all. I miss my room, my cats, my books. I miss having my own vehicle and being able to go to the store without having to take up two hours of my day. But I'm going to miss this place when I leave.

I can't stand to think about the fact that whatever new show comes after the castle show will not be seen by me (at least not in person) for at least a year, and probably a year and a half. I try to forget that I will soon be leaving my roommate to film cute mouse moments by herself. I'm heartbroken that my days off will no longer be spent meeting characters, watching shows and parades, and riding rides. And I hate the thought that I will have to get a job where telling stories, dancing for no reason, playing with remote control cars, and making magic will no longer be in my job description.

When I first got here, I was excited, but I couldn't help wondering how on earth I was going to survive away from my family. Now my time here is almost up, and I know how I survived: I grew to love this place almost as much as I love home. My family will always be of utmost importance to me, but I'm starting to learn that other things can be important too.

And there's also the fact that I'd much rather sweat than put on two layers. : D

Did I Write This?

2009-10-08T17:55:00.002-06:00

A quick manipulation to make the visiting team player think that the home team player had dodged when he actually had not, and the home team player was home free and had gained another six points.

“See, those humans are right when they say you should save for a rainy day. In our case meaining when you tick off your parents so much they disown you and cut off their funding."

“What, you mean like acting as if the world revolves around you and hoping you will fall madly in love with her, sweep her off her feet, and make out with her or perhaps more in the backseat of your sexy, sexy car?” Kristy said. “Yeah, I might have noticed something like that.”

It seemed that Gaia knew this, for Tania had barely sat down when she was informed she had new duties. “The girl who’s been carrying water down there complains of the walk, and she often ‘can’t find’ Caspian, who may be a bit odd but doesn’t deserve to go thirsty,” Gaia said. “I thought you would enjoy the walk, being as restless and unused to this type of work as you are, and you seem to not mind Caspian.”

Doc smiled and sat down again, leaning back in a stretch. "Well, nothing can go wrong with the sainted Tabitha Talem watching the table. Have fun."

After dinner it was again time for boredom and general despair. Amber always insisted on getting homework done in a timely manner, and though settling down to do my homework every evening in her room had become habit, I still wasn’t very happy about it.

It's That Time

2009-10-02T08:47:00.002-06:00

Today is October second. This time next month, I need to be up to about 5,000 words.

Yes, my friends, NaNoWriMo is approaching, and in honor of that approaching-ness, my blog is getting revamped. It's been coming for a while, but I wasn't sure I was going to do it for a while because I wasn't even sure I wanted a blog anymore. But what with me doing NaNo (NaNo bloggers like to read other NaNo blogs), and the fact that I have a shop I could and should be advertising, yeah I'll keep up the blog.

So... changes will happen around here! Slowly! In between keeping the apartment clean, remembering to eat, making merchandise, shipping merchandise, writing novels, oh yes and working at Walt Disney World there is also that.

It May Not be Much, but it's Cool!

2009-09-16T07:50:00.003-06:00

So, someone bought one of my bracelets on Etsy, which means I have earned $5! Exciting! Once I get my paypal account verified so I can actually accept the $5, I will probably use it to pay my Etsy fees. So I haven't really earned anything.

But! I'm still incredibly excited. I love making bracelets (it's pretty much all I do in my free time, aside from an occasional trip to a Disney park), and it's awesome to think that I could be paid for doing so! I'm also excited to start using other talents of mine to make merchandise for my shop. And I have talked to several of my family, suggesting things they could make that I could put up for sale! What fun this is!

Right now I'm working on Halloween bracelets. Here's my favorite:

If you don't know what this is referring to, you need to find and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Then you will know. And I seem to be becoming quite fond of bracelets with words. I also have 'HAUNTED' and 'HALLOWEEN' up for sale, 'MWA HA HA' is finished and needs to be added, and 'SPOOKY' and 'BEWARE' are in the works.

Also: I now know most of the songs in The Nightmare Before Christmas! I signed up for Netflix so I could watch movies on my laptop while working (I didn't bring any DVDs and my disk drive is broken), and aside from watching HSM3 and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? once each, I have been watching TNBC all the time. Although it keeps distracting me from my work, because I want to actually watch and not just listen while occasionally glancing up at the screen...

Well, I'm out. I have work today, so I need to get some work done before I go.

Maybe I should start an Etsy store?

2009-09-07T11:01:00.003-06:00

One of the frequent topics on this blog is me being sick. Stomach problems usually, with the occasional bad cold or allergy attack thrown in.

Now I'm in Florida, I seem to have left that all behind. I was able to stop taking all my prescription medications without any ill effects. In fact, the only hint of my old life I seem to have brought with me is the tendency to be rather weak when I haven't been eating regularly, and even that usually only popped up as momentary dizziness after getting off of a ride. I've been feeling absolutely great, sound in body and happy in mind.

Until, of course, I spent two days coughing my lungs out, finally went to the doctor, was diagnosed with what I like to call the Super Flu (H1N1 virus, swine flu, Influenza A... take your pick, I have more!).

Headache. Fever. Aches. Dizziness whenever I tried to get up. Inability to ingest anything other than juice (and that in copious quantities). Coughing that threatened to kill me. Being drenched in sweat every single time I woke up.

Now that I am on day 6 of being ill and day 4 of official respiratory isolation, things are finally starting to look up. I mean illness-wise. So I am able to fully realize that I am BORED. Bored bored bored. No human interaction! Well, okay, I can call people, but talking to my sister makes me fall asleep, my mother isn't feeling well and keeps have to run off to take care of children, and everyone else keeps going to work or something. And I have another two and a half days of this. And my internet has been really really sketchy.

I'm sure that I started this post with an idea in mind other than to complain, but I have completely forgotten it. I suppose you'll have to be happy with what I have here. : D

Day One

2009-08-19T21:45:00.004-06:00

Apparently, Orlando is close enough to hurricane... Bill? I think? to be experiencing some life difficulties due to that. Example: it took me about five minutes to get off the bus, find my building, and drag (yes, drag, I am so getting luggage with wheels) my luggage over. In that time, I was soaked. Soaked. As in, water-pouring-from-my-hair my-clothes-are-dripping soaked. Whee!

Doing all the paperwork was great fun. I was in lines for over an hour and a half. However, it wasn't that bad, because the casting building is a wonderful place. The chairs were colorful, and some of them were funny shapes. Everyone was smiling. The fine art on the walls was of Disney characters, with realistic cracks painted in the walls that made up the painting world. The undersides of overhead walkways were painted to look like bridges. I loved it! I was stupid to not take more pictures, but here is the one I did take: the front door.

Many many Disney people arrived today. Apparently, they like to schedule large groups on the same day. Something about efficiency. Anyway, this means that many many people needed to go to Wal-Mart to buy necessities. Buses run all day past our apartments, buses just for Cast Members, that take us to our many work locations and to nearby stores. Mainly Wal-Mart. First, my roommates and I missed three buses (one was too full, one passed us by, one was just finishing up a shift and couldn't take people). Then we got to Wal-Mart and discovered absolute chaos. All open checkout lines were several carts long. All the hangers had been purchased. After gathering and purchasing, we had to load everything on to the second bus that came up (the first one was, as you may guess, full), only to unload it and carry it all back to our apartment. And there was a lot of stuff.

We have to show ID whenever we come into the complex, so Heather and I held ours in our mouths so we wouldn't have to put our bags down. Finally home, we put the groceries away (the mostly-melted ice cream was put away first) and then I set about preparing my dinner. Which I needed tuna for. Only after putting in several other ingredients did I realize that the can opener that should come with our apartment was missing.

However terrible all that may seem, I am very excited. I've been laughing all day, even as it seemed that everything was going wrong. I'm in Florida! To work at Walt Disney World! And my assignment was to the main park, in a huge toy store!!

Also, lizards are awesome.

A Rose

2009-08-08T22:11:00.002-06:00

Another market day, another barely breaking even. However, I still don't want to stop doing this.

1. Saturdays = days everyone WORKS HARD at home. I am instead sitting in a booth talking to people and making bracelets.

2. I like hanging out with my sister, and hanging out with yellow m&m today was also fun.

3. The kittens, the way people react to the kittens, and all the change we get in our "Coins for Kittens" fund make me smile a lot.

4. I like kids. Kids like kittens. Lissi and are are calling our booth the unofficial market babysitting booth.

5. Sometimes interesting things happen. Today we could see right out the back of our booth to where an audience was gathered, listening to a live country band playing mostly religious songs, ones with many declarations of love toward the Lord and such. I'm sure the audience was more fun to watch than the band.

6. Today, while watching the audience of the band, I had noticed one woman in particular. She was almost constantly dancing. She spun slowly, moved her arms around, and later waved flags, all while her eyes were closed and her head was tipped back. I've been a Utah Mormon all my life, in Provo and Orem even, and I'm sure most of you know what that means. In this particular case, it means that I have very rarely had any contact with other religions. So this display of... faith? was something I had seen very little of. I must admit I at first thought it was rather silly. However, as I kept watching her, it seemed rather beautiful. It made me think of myself. I never want to bear my testimony by standing behind the pulpit and talking, you see. I'd much rather do it by singing. And by dancing, that woman was showing her love for God as surely as I do it by singing. I am pleased to say that what I at first thought of as odd turned out to be spiritual.

7. Lissi and I have roses for sale, fresh and dried. They are not very popular. To avoid taking all of the fresh ones home, we have developed a habit of giving them away as we pack up, usually to all the small children that are still hanging around playing with our kittens. Today, I looked at the roses, looked up, and saw that aforementioned woman, still dancing. I chose the prettiest rose we had and gave it to Lissi, insisting that she give it to the woman. She did so, embarrassedly, and returned to say that she'd been given a hug, and a kiss. Also, it seemed the woman took it as a spiritual experience - here she is, a woman who absolutely loves roses, worshipping at a concert, and all of a sudden a young woman comes up to her and gives her a rose. As she told Lissi, "God knows I love roses."

Next week will be my last week before I leave for Florida. If my friend wants to, she and Lissi will continue the booth in my absence, and I will send friendship bracelets from Florida for them to put up for sale. Despite the fact that I am heading for an exciting experience, I cannot help but wish I could continue market myself. The sitting around, the not making any money, the being too hot or too cold - so what? I like it. I don't know why.

You Guys!!

2009-07-27T13:20:00.003-06:00

You guys! I cut my hair off! Well, I mean, I paid a stylist to cut it off. And it's not all gone. But still!

Before today, I had never cut my hair above my shoulders, and I always had the longest hair out of the girls in the family. Today, when she cut it above my shoulders and asked if that was good, I asked her to cut it shorter! And now, if we're talking proportionally, I about have the shortest hair of the girls!

It's short, you guys! And it makes me look younger! Which might be a bad thing, considering the 16-year-old that was flirting with me the other day! But oh well! It's cute!

I'm kinda excited!

Magnetic Poetry

2009-07-23T09:57:00.002-06:00

"blue chocolate glass"

"they were able through water and blood through innocent song and wonderful bloom to believe the moon & buy the sky"

"our siamese steal always is heaven in velvet"

"though blues they are my wants never embrace it"

"a midnight kiss feeds my emotion we sing & have the world"

"she had a bowl of peace and light"

"I want to almost look"

"so thick after shadow so hard above days"

"sleek hiss I let her stalk"

"ever at home not sofa that guy of cool humor no jazz by which we lounge"

"your brother means life"

"their night can take two cigarettes"

"coolish lad hunts love"

"they marry neon yarn here"

"little shimmer across life"

"kind felines sit by this chap"

"sweet heart will dream & endure she has quiet power"

"you overwhelm me charm me you love my friend"

"silver word with easy love"

"enjoy the sacred goddess language"

"always one strong companion"

Farmers Market!

2009-07-20T21:00:00.003-06:00

Note to self: put new batteries in camera before next Saturday.

My friends, canopies that advertise themselves as 'easy up' are LYING to you. LYING. They say you only need two people, and you just get it out, jiggle it until it opens, put the top on, extend the legs, and voila! a canopy. But that is not how it goes. First you get it out. Then you pull with all your strength, switching off legs, until you think it is out correctly. Mostly. Then you extend the legs. Then you realize that you should have put these tent pole things in the circle thing before you extended the legs. Then you borrow a stepladder and try to put the tent pole things in the circle things. Then you contemplate calling the aunt who loaned you the canopy and insisted it would be a snap to set up. Then you give up and lower the legs. Then all three of you (did I mention there were actually three people there, not the normal two? So this should have been easier than claimed, right?) take turns trying to put the tent pole things in the circle thing without breaking them, and by some miracle the last one to try manages to do it. Then you extend the legs again. Then you realize that the top things extend too, and exert some muscle there as well. Then you have to position it where you want it, since it has traveled considerably from where you put it to begin with.

Then you spend the whole day shifting yourself and/or the canopy to try to stay out of the sun.

Sigh. Well, it did keep me from getting sunburned, I suppose, and it kept Tucker from dying. Note to self: remember to bring a cooler for the food so Tucker can't eat it. And it protected poor Dano, whose medication makes him very susceptible to sunburn. And it provided shade for the few customers who came to our booth at the Farmers Market.

Ah, we made a few dollars. Enough to treat ourselves to SubZero ice cream after, and still have enough to buy more supplies. I am a little sad that no one wanted to buy the roses... but Lissi did say, when she finally came, that she wouldn't have put most of them up for sale. My knotted bracelets were a big hit... but that means that I have to work hard this week to make more. Ah well. I got myself into this.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that y'all should come down to Pioneer Park next Saturday between 9:00 am and 2:00 pm (the earlier the better, if the heat is anywhere near that of last Saturday) and pay us a visit. I won't even make you buy anything!

Love,

Bob, maker and seller of friendship bracelets, illuminated pages, and hot pillows; teamed up with Lena, maker and seller of crocheted things, and Lissi, maker and seller of cross stitched things and wish bracelets, and writer of signs because she's much better at calligraphy than I am.

What's New?

2009-07-14T09:06:00.002-06:00

Here are some things that, if I weren't so lazy, would have gotten full post treatment when they happened. Now, I'm just going to do them in list format. You may not be entertained, but at least you'll be informed!

My parents spent last weekend in California for some sort of conference, leaving me in charge of everyone. When they came back, I handed out awards to my sibings:
Boo and Ty got the Complainers award
Siri and Boo got the Drove Me Up the Wall award
Boo got the Helpful award
Random and Dex got the Very Helpful I Owe You Lunch award

Random, Ty, and my mother are training to walk a marathon. I have yet to be able to do a half-hour workout three times a week.

My mother's leg muscles are intimidating.

Tucker has had his last kitten-visit to the vet. Not only has he had all of his shots, he is also now unable to procreate. Yay!

Tucker cried almost nonstop for the first few days after we got him. Then he seemed to entirely forget how to make noise - not a growl, mew, meow, or cry. He'd purr occasionally, but that was it. If he wanted food, he would stare at his dish and attack us as we came in. If he was lonely, he'd throw himself against the door. Now that he's been neutered, he's rediscovered his voice, and uses it to order playtime, food, and help.

Caiti walks! She still uses crawling as her main mode of moving, but her walking is good enough that she no longer looks like she'll fall over every time she takes a step. We went to the waterpark a few days ago, and she could even make her way across the grass with relative ease.

I have finally acquired the California address of Goober, my dear departed friend.

Random and I are working several hours a day preparing to have a booth at the Farmers Market.

I will be having a recital before I leave for Florida. You are all invited!

I plan to cut my hair really short before I go to Florida. How short? Well, I'm going to tell the stylist (my cousin who has done my hair before and has my trust) to cut it off as short as will look good.

If anyone wants to give me a gift, look for the game Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot. I played it with some of my brother's friends on the Fourth, and I think it was great fun.

I had better get off now. I have bracelets to make, a room to clean, and voice lessons to prepare for.

Combining

2009-07-03T23:40:00.002-06:00

"Prince and Paris, huh. You know, I think there should be a law against celebrities naming their own children. And Mormons too. Well, not that it should be illegal for them to name their own children, but that they should have to go through some sort of submission process."

"Yeah. And then we wouldn't end up with names like Renesmee."

"Oh... oh yes. Sweet Stephanie Meyer, what have you done to our culture?"

So on the way home from work, we were discussing what certain names would have been/would be if a Bella/SMeyer way of thinking were behind them.

Me, a girl: Marlene

Me, a boy: L'ray

My son: Freff, Alice (a surprising number of guy-name-mashups came out sounding like girl's names), Nalex, Alaniel

There were no interesting daughter names, sorry. We were using the names of guys I knew and it was possible for me to marry (ie, they're single and my age), and I only knew the name of one mother of one of these guys, and her name is the same as my mother's so that wasn't fun at all.

Also! We were at Wal-Mart and came upon a group of girls dressed in matching gold and red uniforms. Cami shrieked. The girls burst into laughter (meaning giggles; these are teenage girls we are talking about). As we continued on our way, for the next several minutes we could hear the story being retold (one girl would shriek, and the others would all start laughing) and we saw a couple of girls on the floor, they were so overcome with mirth. During the rest of our trip, any red-and-gold girls we saw anywhere in the store would burst into giggles. Fun times.

My Week of Wonder

2009-06-06T10:24:00.003-06:00

Sunday: Goober and her family drive out to California. I am sad.

Monday: my 21st birthday! My cake was... odd... and awesome.

Tuesday: The cold of DEATH takes over my system. I spend the whole day in bed, playing games. I start to notice that I can't taste things.

Wednesday: I spend most of the day in my bed, and then I spill something all over it. The futon in the living room becomes my domain. I still can't taste things.

Thursday: I can sometimes taste things! I am still spending most of my time on the couch, however. I try to not be sick, and I manage to shower, get dressed, do a bit of exercise, and clean the kitchen a bit before I am driven back to the couch with a horribly upset stomach, a huge headache, and cramps that come out of nowhere. Also, Siri drops Caiti on Brekke, and Caiti's forehead comes into contact with Brekke's tooth. Result: Caiti's first stitches!

Friday: I didn't get to bed until 2 am (whenever I have a cold I have trouble falling asleep and have fallen into the practice of staying up doing things until I'm exhausted) and then had to get up at 6:30 to take Mother somewhere so she could go on a choir tour. Then I go to WalMart to get supplies for a party. Then I start shouting "Banana!" and laughing uncontrollably and being really cranky. I finally take a nap, but so late that I have little time to do things and I'm late for my own party. Also, I can taste and smell again, but almost completely lose my voice within a few hours.

Friday night: Sparkly sweethearts are gross, I love my cousins and their witty witty minds, yes I really am that aware of innuendo, I'm glad I'm not the only person who wonders how vampires get it on when they have no blood, and I will never think of baseball the same way again. Also: pants!

Saturday: I'm still coughing, my voice is still really low and sometimes I can't talk at all, I actually took a shower, got dressed, and did some laundry (note to self: go put the load in the dryer!!), and I'm way looking forward to going out to lunch with a friend of mine.

Jewelry!

2009-06-01T19:16:00.002-06:00

Today is my birthday (yay!) and my mother invited my grandpa, and my aunt who lives with him, to come over for cake. My aunt called a little while before to offer me a birthday present. She told me to go to her website and pick something out.

http://www.sablegreyhound.com/index.html

Yay!

My aunt is a really cool aunt to have. She plays in the SCA, and due to that, has worked up a great talent for making medieval costumes and period-style jewelry. Her pieces are beautiful. My favorite necklace is one that she gave me for Christmas. Both Siri and Caiti were given custom pieces made by her.

I'm really excited. And I plan to visit her site more frequently when I actually have money... someday. : D And if you have money, you should check out her site!

Also: for those of you who are coming to the Twilight Bash, you'll be meeting her.

2009-05-30T21:23:00.001-06:00

She's gone.

Oh Dear

2009-05-29T18:12:00.003-06:00

There are two reasons why you should always pay lots of attention to a baby taking a bath.

The first, most important, and widely known reason is because babies drown rather easily, and that is a tragedy all would like to avoid. The other?

Our long-term houseguest, Goober, is moving to California with her family on Sunday, and her coworkers threw a party. She brought home half of the large sheet cake. I immediately sat down to eat some. Caiti was crying at me, so I offered her some as well. She quickly gobbled hers and asked for more. I told her how cute she was with the chocolate smeared on her face and gave her a rather large piece.

I asked Danny to be the one to wash her off - the large piece, understandably, had gotten all over her. I told him to put a bit of water in the tub, not too hot, and gently rinse her off. I didn't do it myself because I was in pain from recently adjusted braces and bit loopy from the numerous medications that are keeping my allergies at bay. I made sure he was in the bathroom keeping an eye on her, then settled on the couch with my book.

A while later, I asked Danny if he had washed her off. He said kinda, then said something to Caiti, something that frightened me to no end.

"Caiti, did you poop?"

I dashed to the bathroom.

Poop.

Smeared all over the tub.

GAAAAAAAAAAH!

The tub was rinsed. Wipes were used. The tub was rinsed again. Soap was applied liberally to both tub and baby. Both were rinsed. Caiti was taken out, put in a towel, then put in the baby bath for a second wash.

Note to self: babies without diapers are liable to... leave droppings.

Edit: Also!!!! Caiti has been taking her first steps today!

A Plot Approaches

2009-05-25T19:31:00.001-06:00

Friday's Comic!

2009-05-25T19:26:00.001-06:00

Enthusiasm!!!!!

2009-05-20T15:17:00.001-06:00

Enter: Annoyance

2009-05-18T11:38:00.001-06:00

A Hero's Life

2009-05-15T09:41:00.001-06:00

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Title Page!

2009-05-13T18:02:00.008-06:00

Modesty

2009-05-06T21:02:00.003-06:00

My sister Siri and I were sitting on the porch. She was angry. "Melissa attacked me," she said.

"Oh, that's not good," I said. "I bet that made you mad."

"Yeah. She said, 'You have to put on a shirt!'" She crossed her arms over her chest and stared out at the road.

She's five, at that age when clothes - you know, they're just not important. (Okay, actually she should be past that age, but she's a little developmentally delayed). Earlier today I had to threaten to end our front-yard picnic if she wouldn't go inside and put on some pants.

As amused as I was by the situation, I did my best to explain the reasoning. You see, she's been having lots of trouble following certain rules, even rules that we tell her over and over again, and that she gets punished for breaking over and over again. I figured that there was a better hope of her obeying if I told her why.

"You see, Siri, it's important to be modest," I said. "We have to cover up our bodies, because they are temples. You remember learning about temples in Primary."

"Mm-hm." She's interested now, looking up at me instead of at the street, allowing her folded arms to relax. I recall how excited she was when she came home with a temple poster, and how she made me promise to put it up by the bed.

"You remember, that the temple is where Heavenly Father lives?"

"Yeah."

"Well, your body is a temple too, and you can have Heavenly Father's spirit live with you and help you. But only if you respect your temple, if you respect your body. And that means you have to be modest and keep yourself covered. It shows respect to Heavenly Father and to your body." I know it's a little repetitive, but she's five. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah."

I went back to reading my book - until I remembered what book I was reading. A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit. It's a book that has been worrying me and making me fervently glad for the Mormon surroundings I grew up in and continue to live in. Ms. Shalit makes the argument that women's increased problems with rapes, disappointing relationships, stalkers, heartbreak, and other problems of the sort are due to a lack of modesty, you know, that thing that men forced on women to keep them downtrodden.

Ms. Shalit talks of past times, times of modesty. Women were expected to cover up and to save themselves for marriage. A woman being pressed by a suitor to do more than was decent had myriad reasons not to - her parents were waiting up for her, what would the neighbors think of her - and if the man still pressed, then he was a boor indeed. And if he went even farther and took, he faced severe punishment.

However, this is what the feminists call "repression." Women have sex drives too, you know. Why force her to keep it all locked up? So the clothes came off, the barriers came down, the parents stopped caring, and now men don't respect women, women think something's wrong with them if they don't want to have sex, and modesty and chastity are largely scorned.

Would one of these feminists be angry with me for telling my sister that she needed to cover herself up? Probably. These are women who dress their preschoolers in belly shirts and short shorts to compete in beauty pageants and are only to glad to say to a TV camera that those who wouldn't put their girls in pageants must have ugly children. These are women who dress themselves in belly shirts and short skirts and blame the men for looking at them like sex objects.

In short, they're people I don't understand.

Middle Name

2009-04-22T19:48:00.002-06:00

It's all Goober's fault.

Well, maybe not totally. Okay, so maybe it's a lot my fault.

In my life I have gone by several names. When I was younger, I more often heard nicknames than my full name. Later I went by Mariel every so often. Right now, if someone says "bob" I look up.

The other day I will filling out my acceptance to the Disney World program, and I came across "What do you want on your name tag?" I put in my first name, then started thinking about how interesting it might be to go by my middle name. It's a very nice middle name, classical and traditional. And, I admit, it's the name of one of my favorite Jane Austen characters. So I jokingly suggested I put it on my name tag. Goober thought it was a brilliant idea, to the point where I actually typed it in... and then accidentally hit enter.

It wouldn't let me go back to that page.

So it looks like I'll be going by my middle name for a few months. I hope I get used to it quickly.

Twilight

2009-04-22T14:23:00.003-06:00

My friends, I must admit it: I am obsessed with Twilight. I have denied it for as long as I could, but the truth must come out.

I can't help it. It has bewitched me and ensnared me and dazzled me...

Many are the hours I have spent mocking the heroine (and the heroin), laughing hysterically at the movie and books, reading articles against it and agreeing and reading articles for it to mock them. I have risked public beating because I insist on insulting the so-called characters and so-called plot whenever possible. I have seen the movie several times, each time bringing more and more friends to mock it with me. I have even arranged a Twilight movie party, to which all of my friends, several acquaintances, and one aunt are invited to. (Actually, not all of my friends. One of them has already beat upon me while I mocked Twilight, and I do not want a repeat.)

It's gotten to the point where my mother, upon seeing a box of "Forbidden Fruits," that is, Twilight-themed conversation hearts, immediately bought them for me.

They come in a black box, with a quite emo-looking Edward/RPattz on the front (at least this one does, it says it's "2 of 3"). The box insists that "The Forbidden Fruit Tastes The Sweetest," I guess thinking that Talking In Capitalized Words Makes You Cool (actually, it just makes me think of Mr. Pump), and boasts a "Secret Scent Rub to Reveal..." Someone should probably tell them that abusing ellipsis doesn't make them mysterious. The hearts themselves come in the flavors Orange Obsession, Tempting Apple, Passion Fruit, and Secret Strawberry. They say things like "soul mate" "bite me" "dazzle" "lamb" "I trust you" "u r my life," and some of them are even sparkly. Nope. Not making that up. Some of the hearts are sparkly.

This greatly amuses me, although I think they were a little off. The flavors, for start. Why aren't any of them blood flavored? (Dextrose in particular was annoyed with that.) Then there's the halfhearted attempt at alliteration. I suppose, due to the other sayings on the box, "Passion Fruit" could hardly be avoided, but apple could have been Ambrosial Apple or Angelic Apple Adoring Apple or Apple Of My Eye or something. Of course, I think that even with alliteration they're off. Orange Obsession was fine, but Secret Strawberry? How about... Stalking Strawberry? (Or maybe StephanieBella StrawBerry? Oo, I am clever.) My mother didn't go for Abusive Apple, so I also came up with Awful Apple (pretty bad, I know) and Ancient Apple. And then how about Freaky Fruit, Furry Fruit (Team Jacob!), or Fangirl Fruit? ('Fruit' is a weird word.)

Mmkay, so now I have a box of conversation hearts that taste like Stalking Strawberry, Ancient Apple, Orange Obsession, and Fangirl Fruit. Yum. Now for the sayings on the hearts. "spider monkey!" "my drug" "108-year-old virgin" "wind chimes" "*~sparkle~*" "Team James" "twinkletoes" "demon baby" and "angle marble cupcake adonis" (although that one would have to be in pretty small writing).

And yes, I wrote this post instead of studying for my exams. : D

P.S. I now own all three of the different boxes (emo Edward, emo Bella, and emo Cullen clan, how original!) and the fruit flavors are really... odd.

Florida

2009-04-17T16:54:00.002-06:00

So I've been pretty excited these past few days because I'm going to be going to Florida in August! And then people keep asking me questions. So I'm here to answer them.

-Walt Disney World Internship

-Merchandise

-Until at least January, perhaps until May or so

-No

-If you ask that question one more time I'm going to get married and not invite you

-I'll miss most of you

-Yes, I will still kick bottomus during NaNoWriMo

-Ha ha no

-Yes

-Maybe I'm just prettier than you are

-Only if you buy me Swiss Cake Rolls

-Do you think I care?

Procrastinating

2009-04-14T10:11:00.002-06:00

Perhaps bob shall write a new post. About...

*going to Florida

*taking care of children

*trying to find a job

*trying to write a script

*trying to write period

*failing classes

*watching Pride and Prejudice like five times in a row

*Procrastinating very important papers

*eating lots of junk, ensuring that her weight will shoot back up

*being so out of shape that walking from the RB up to the Bookstore nearly killed her

*missing people she shouldn't miss

*being weirded out by how her brother and his girlfriend talk about their eventual marriage and children

*blinding people with a bright yellow dress that has feathers on it

*planning to have her first solo recital ever

...

Nah. This list is enough words to count as a post, right? Who needs piddly things like details?

Report

2009-03-26T11:31:00.003-06:00

Schedules made: 100%.

Average amount of schedule adhered to: 5%.

Homework completed: 90%.

Patience of mature roommate: estimated 43% of capacity.

Happiness: healthy 70%.

Suggestions for improvement: stick closer to schedules, clean room every day, do all homework in a timely fashion, and find more time to write.

Pi Day

2009-03-16T12:26:00.002-06:00

I meant to do a post for pi day. I really did. But there were problems.

Some of you may remember last year's pi day post. That was pretty fun, but I didn't want to do a repeat of it, even though my opinion has changed on some things. And I couldn't think of some other clever idea involving numbers.

Also I'm a little annoyed to see that I remember exactly the same number of digits as last year. Way to not work on memorization.

And then I was going to ask my brother what I should do but I forgot.

So I will link to his blog instead.

Linked.

Erg

2009-03-12T08:26:00.002-06:00

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life. I'll just say that I had to brush my teeth three times, I can hardly move, and I'm not allowed to touch Caiti. I am joined in my pain by Siri, Boo, and my father - so far. This kind of thing, in this kind of environment, usually gets everyone before leaving.

In short, don't come over today. You'll regret it.

Kissing

2009-03-02T08:58:00.003-07:00

I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. And, well, so did everyone else. But I didn't expect it to happen so soon!

My sister has kissed a boy.

As I said, we knew this was coming. She was asked out on a date back when she was 14, and has been quite popular (in a good way, she's a beautiful and awesome girl) for as long as I can remember. And now, with her sixteenth birthday still 10 months away, she has kissed a boy.

Well, okay, only on the forehead. And only because the driver of the car she was in said that every girl had to kiss the only boy in the car before leaving. But still! It was a guy she likes, and the closest I've come to kissing someone was all that stage kissing...

... though me bringing that up did lead to an interesting discussion on why Random kissing a boy on the forehead due to peer pressure counted as a kiss, while me kissing a guy on the lips at least twice a night for several nights in a row didn't count as even one kiss.

Monopoly

2009-02-26T21:06:00.002-07:00

The first game, between Siri and myself, ended just as Goober came home. (I won.)

"Hey, Goober, want to play Monopoly with us?"

"Only if we play the fast way."

So we started a new game. I was the hat (with a rabbit inside), Siri was the moneybag (which bounced up and down), and Goober was the car (which honked and danced a little). And we started with all of the properties delt out, the 'fast way' that Goober spoke of. (I did mention that we were playing this on my computer, right?)

Ten minutes in, precious little had happened, just some trading to make monopolies and a bit of cash changing hands.

Half an hour in, Goober had discovered how easy it was to get Siri to agree to a trade.

45 minutes in, Siri had completely lost interest, and Goober had 'acquired' more of her properties than should be legal.

About an hour in, I quickly grabbed one of Siri's utilities. Goober had already taken the other, and I didn't want her to have both of them.

An hour and a half in, we had moved to the kitchen to eat dinner, and I was playing with Goober's hair and watching as she played for everyone. I was really ready for Goober to go bankrupt; she'd been on the verge for most of the game. When she finally landed on one my hotel-ed properties, however, she made a trade with Siri: all of Siri's money and properties in return for Goober's get out of jail free card.

That was where I started to loose it.

Soon after, Siri went bankrupt to me, which meant I got... a get out of jail free card. Nice. (Especially since we'd set a house rule that bail was $0.)

But I had high hopes for bankrupting Goober. I had four monopolies with hotels, including Boardwalk, and she rarely had over $500, if that.

But she kept... hanging... on...

Shortly after the two hour mark, Goober went bankrupt. Or should have. Instead, she gave me all her properties and I gave her several thousand dollars (I had around $20,000 at the time). I, watching more than playing, let her. I unmortgaged all the properties... and then she tried to take them all back. I quickly put an end to that, giving her one monopoly and the railroads and utilities.

It wasn't until near the three hour mark that we finally put the game away - not finished, just saved. This is the longest quick game I have ever seen.

And all you people who called me a cheater during NaNo? Yeah. You have not seen cheating until you watch Goober play Monopoly on my computer.

Also, I have more than an entire roll of toilet paper and my nose is getting very, very raw. Splurging on some lotion-y tissues is definitely in order.

Characters

2009-02-24T10:40:00.002-07:00

For those of who who missed Goober's triple post, I now have two roommates: my four-year-old sister and Goober herself.

We don't hate each other yet, so we must be doing something right.

Lately I've been doing my best to get back into writing, and really working on the second draft of my two NaNo novels. Heh. Not going so well. I'm trying to do outlines for the plot and characterization, and I'm having trouble with both. I am having so much trouble with characters, in fact, that I'm more or less putting my editing on hold to find and read some books and articles on characterization.

And this is LAME. I've always felt that I did well with characters - I come up with characters and then the story, I often half-know them before I even name them, things like that. But suddenly Kristy and Ezekiel and Willow and Ash and the others are the hardest things to pin down. They're all ending up with the exact same character traits, or the opposites. Some of them seem to have no traits at all.

And as a result, they're all refusing to speak with me and I can't get anything done.

BLAH.

Three Things

2009-02-18T22:14:00.003-07:00

One - Yes, My Tribe is still taking up all of my time. I'm seriously thinking about getting rid of at least one tribe. Or putting it on pause, maybe?

Two - I really like this new TV show called Lie to Me. Quite soon after watching tonight's episode, I realized that, when I say a certain phrase that I know isn't true (but I say it at least twice a day anyway), I do the little mouth shrug and other things that would, to the astute watcher, show them that I was lying. Also, I really want to learn how to read people like they do on the show. It would be so cool.

Three - I'm reading Monstrous Regiment to my sister, and some of the characters say things like "Oh gods." I was sometimes saying that, sometimes replacing it, until Siri objected. So I started using "Bob" instead. This was hilarious, but after some debate it was decided that it sounded a little too similar. So we changed it to "Oh my Fred!"

Also, though I have My Tribe characters named after most of my friends, including real names and Board names (Fredjikrang was too long, though, so I had to go with Fredji), I have not been able to bring myself to name someone Bob, or even Robert.

Blast it, it's after 10 again. I should really get rid of one of those tribes.

Oh! Oh! One more thing! Are any of you who live in Provo free this Saturday from 6:00 AM to sometime in the late afternoon? You see, my friend Marnee really really needs judges for speech and debate - she has to bring at least 15 or so or her kids can't participate - and so far she has her husband, me, and Goober. And probably a couple of parents. There should be free food! And I might be able to convince my parents to let me take the car, so we could leave early and listen to my iPod there are back (and probably get lost four or five times...)! And if I had any money I would buy us lunch but I don't so um I'll give you a hug maybe? Or write a blog post singing your praises? And Marnee would love you.

Wandering Narrative

2009-02-17T16:42:00.003-07:00

For the first time since that one time I got so upset that I vowed to avoid virtual human contact, I have been spending very little time on the internet. I've been on my computer, yeah, but not on the internet. And not writing either.

I've been playing My Tribe.

I suppose I could compare it to Sims (I've never played, so I'm not 100% sure), only much simpler. Which also means less to do at any given time. I actually started three tribes so I could skip from one to another during the many hours I've been spending on my computer. (I don't know how I'm going to take care of them all, plus check on my sister's, but I'm going to try.)

I blame some unfortunate circumstances on Saturday that drove me to this game - and no, not those kind of circumstances. I hung out with Goober instead of with any sort of male. But, you see, it was one of Those Times - the times where I spend pointless time trying to figure out how I could drum up the money to move out, and how to counteract the guilt once I did so. Even when I had a job I wouldn't have been able to afford moving out, but sometimes things get so bad I try to figure it out anyway. Out of habit, now, I ponder housing signs posted in bathrooms and ask people how they like where they're living.

Anyway, a desire to do anything aside from go home got me playing, and the stress and consequent poor eating gave me the hours upon hours to continue doing so. Now if only we had actually apologized and not pretended to...

Sisters

2009-02-11T22:02:00.001-07:00

A brief rundown of tonight's events:

1. "I'm 10, but that doesn't mean I know how to pour drinks for myself without spilling."

2. Brekke = oxygen, Siri = spark, my mother = fuel. Result: my mother puts herself in time-out for yelling.

3. I'm the backup mother.

4. "Hey! Hey! I'm going to dance around and be really obnoxious, as obnoxious as a four-year-old can be!"

5. "Hey! Hey! I'm only nine months old, so you need to hold me! YES ALL THE TIME."

6. "Why do IIIIII always have to doooooo this????" "Because it's your night for dinner, and you do so little around the house that the least you can do is clean up the kitchen once a week." *massive 10-year-old groan*

7. "My leeeeeeeeg huuuuuuuuurts. Ow! Oooooooooow!" "You're not going to bed until you're done in here." *massive 10-year-old sulk*

8. "It's waaaaaaaay past my bedtime!" "You're not going to bed until you're done in here." *further sulking*

9. Somehow, the 10-year-old has no idea how to clean the kitchen and must be told each and every step at least three times.

10. Did I mention I was also dealing with a hyperactive four-year-old and a clingy nine-month-old at the same time?

11. *wild gasp* "Is that dad? Is that dad? Is dad home?" "Yes. Now finish sweeping." "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! I don't like her! She's mean to me!" *pouts*

12. "Hey! Now that I no longer have to clean the kitchen, I have no reason whatsoever to want to go to bed! Want to see how many times I can come out of my room? Huh? Huh???"

13. bob must read hilarious Twilight sporks in order to not go to bed fuming.

What joy.

Love

2009-02-10T16:01:00.002-07:00

It seems an appropriate topic, though what caused me to write about it had nothing to do with the impending holiday o' love. : D

I recently watched a movie called My Brilliant Career for my film class. In class today, our teacher admitted that they chose it on purpose so all we students would be bothered. You see, it starts out like a Jane Austen movie - girl and boy meet, improve each other, and fall in love. And then he proposes and she says no - wait a second, that's not how it's supposed to go!

The fact that the movie does not end with the expected wedding and joy wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me - all feminists should stop reading now - was that she gave up the man she loved in order to be a writer. Well, the ending's a bit ambiguous, maybe she did end up with him or at least someone else sometime, but throughout the ending she repeatedly refused to marry the guy because she wanted to pursue a career.

And this bothered me. I fully realize that by thinking, and then saying, such a thing, there are those out there that will think I'm a repressed woman who falsely believes that I will only be whole when I have a man. However, I know this is not that case. So I did some deep thinking to figure out why this had bothered me so much.

And then I tried to write down all my wonderful philosophical insights and failed. : D

However, I will say one thing: I don't know that I would have been able to do it. I have dreams and hopes for my life just as the girl in the movie did, but I think, if I had to, I would choose the love over the career. I would need the love so badly that everything else diminished in the face of it. Perhaps some would say that no amount of love would fill in for achieving your dreams, and perhaps I would occasionally regret not trying for a career, but love, true, romantic, share-your-life-and-soul love, is something I would never pass up on.

I've known this for a long time, but until the last year or so it frightened me. Needing love like I do, like every human does - well, you get hurt sometimes. I have never suffered heartache romantically, but I have been hurt by friends, so I know a little of what it's like and I didn't want to know how much worse it could get. And I think it is this attitude that led me to have few friends, and to usually put myself before them.

But things started changing when I read an answer on the Board about love. One of the writers said something along the lines of "I love everyone I know." This made me think - do I love everyone I know? Well, why not? And if I did love everyone I knew, what would it look like? These are things that I have thought about a lot in the past year or so. And I know I'm not very good yet - just last week I learned another big lesson, and I'm pretty sure I hurt someone else in the process - but I am changing. Many of these changes have happened inside of me - I realize I see someone in a new light, mostly. Other changes are very noticeable. I have more friends, for one, and I'm starting to talk to them and hang out with them more. And then there's the nicknames, which I've slowly been discovering mean much more than I thought. You can tell how much I know and, yes, love someone by how many nicknames I call them, and often even I'm surprised when I take stock of what I call who. And, even more amusingly, I am now able to have fun flirting, and also take part in what we call 'girl talk' without making fun of everyone else or being all emo myself (mostly, and I do apologize to Goober for the times when I've slipped and acted dumb).

I know this post is far too long, and it's probably not very coherent, but I'm posting it anyway. : D

Sliding

2009-02-10T08:41:00.002-07:00

"Hi dad! I just wanted to tell you - I know you and mom weren't worried about it, but by the time I got out of the neighborhood I was - that I did not get into any accidents and I did not loose control of the car. I probably should have taken your car. I'll try to get home within half an hour when my class is over. At least now I can be confident in my driving-in-the-snow skills."

!!!

2009-02-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

Shoot!

I still don't have a job or any money, and I made the mistake of looking at the limited edition shirt from the Board. And I want it. I really want it. But I have no money, literally no money. I mean, I have about $90. And I might not be getting a job until April

Anyone want to buy that for me? *is begging*

Have I Told You About My Sister Yet?

2009-02-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

Point a camera at her, and she goes into ham mode.

And yes, she is posing herself.

No one, not even Draik (the only one that's not blond) has ever tried to pull the pull-a-face-as-the-flash-goes trick. She picked it up and perfected it on her own.

A Spanish Restaurant

2009-02-04T15:09:00.002-07:00

This mission took place on Tuesday, April 8, 2008, all in the P.M.

4:00 – Agent Bob meets Agent Fred outside the Spanish classroom. It was decided that Agent Fred would accompany Agent Bob as a final blow against The Annoyance.

4:10 – Everyone leaves the classroom. Agent Bob is driving a van, in which will be Agent Fred and Cambria, a civilian. Some embarrassment is expressed, as it appears that The Annoyance isn’t coming. Agent Fred doesn’t mind; he’s getting free food.

Later – Arrival at the restaurant. There is much standing in line. Agents Fred and Bob discuss what to get. Agent Bob confesses her fears about ordering in Spanish, and Agent Fred laughs at her. Kindly. And insists she can do it.

Later – Agent Bob successfully orders ‘numero tres con pollo y agua fresca.’

Later – Agent Bob is quite happy with her food, even though there are onions and spices. Direct quote: “Why must there be spices on everything?” “There aren’t. You’re just picky.”

Later – Agents Bob and Fred discuss their food; corn tortillas, beans, flavored rice, agua fresca, chicken, sour cream, all sorts of good stuff.

Later – There are many remarks about the flags and other general Mexican things in the restaurant.

5:30 – Having nothing more to talk about that concerns Spanish, Agents Fred and Bob decide to return to campus.

6:30 – Agent Bob’s mother is given the leftover food. Direct quote: “What’s this?” “Agua fresca. It’s like lemonade. Or is lemonade. Or something.”

Addendum – The problem of The Annoyance was declared more or less fixed the day after this mission, when The Annoyance talked to Agent Bob for the first time in over a week. While he does follow her from class to the photo counter in the Bookstore, this gives Agent Bob the opportunity to tell him she went with Agent Fred and they had so much fun and the food was so good… to bad he didn’t come. The Annoyance leaves quickly when Agent Bob’s father gets back to the photo counter.

This report was written on April 11, 2008 by Agent Bob.

Spanish Theater

2009-01-31T12:57:00.002-07:00

This was my third cultural activity report for that first semester (my second wasn't funny).

This mission took place on Friday, March 21, 2008, all in the P.M.

4:55 – Agent Bob foolishly lets loose important information. Direct quote: “Are you going to the Theater?” “Yeah, I’m going tonight with my sister.” “Oh…”

5:00 – The Annoyance runs off to buy himself a ticket so he can attend Spanish Golden Age Theater with Agent Bob, the woman he’s desperately trying to woo despite the repeated phrase “I’m not interested.”

*unimportant events skipped*

7:15 – Agent Bob and Agent Random realize that they need to get over to the theater.

7:40 – Delayed by a flippin’ long bathroom break and hasty ice-cream eating, Agents Bob and Random enter the theater with The Annoyance. Happily, Agent Bob manages to get Agent Random to sit between her (bob) and The Annoyance.

7:40-8:00ish – Agents Bob and Random read through the free program and the purchased program, familiarizing themselves with the plots of the plays and being generally entertained. Agent Bob points out that the audience is supposed to participate in the plays; that was how Golden Age plays were written. Agent Random, usually very outgoing, is quite hesitant about agreeing to shout things out, due to a little problem she describes as, “I don’t know Spanish!”

*from this point, exact time is unknown*

Later – The first play is declared very entertaining, even if one does not know Spanish. Agent Bob refrains from acting smug. The Annoyance tries to gain attention. Agent Random discovers a repeated page replacing a needed one in the program and mourns the loss of the comic. Agent Bob points out that they have two programs.

Later – There is a whispered conversation between the two Agents when people in the audience start yelling. Agent Bob tells Agent Random that this was what she meant by ‘audience participation.’ Agent Random still refuses to participate.

Later – Agent Random dozes off and needs to be brought up to speed: they’re ignoring Apitito, who is trying to gain attention.

Later – Applause for the actors.

Later – Agent Bob learns that the girl going by ‘Desnudez’ was named ‘nudity,’ and that it means she was pure, innocent, etc.

Later – Agent Bob does her best to fill out the extra credit form. (Addendum: said form was lost, necessitating replacement, to be included with this report.)

Later – After banter, attempts to read about zombies, and a brilliant move on Agent Random’s part, Agent Bob is rescued from The Annoyance by the timely arrival of her father in the getaway car.

Addendum – The problem of The Annoyance was later eased with some quick moves on Agent Bob’s part and some help from Agent Brunette and Agent Fred. See Restaurant Report.

This report was written April 11, 2008, by Agent Bob.

Spanish TV

2009-01-29T21:59:00.002-07:00

This is a report, a rather amusing report if I do say so myself, that I wrote for my Spanish class probably about a year ago. At that time, my brother known here as Draik was still living at home.

“Hey mom.” “What?” “I need to watch TV in Spanish again.” “Oh.”

With that, my mother, usually fastened to the couch or rocking chair from 4-10, departed for her bedroom. I shrugged and turned on the TV just in time to catch the beginning of our ‘favorite’ Spanish game show, A Que No Puedes!

“What does that mean, anyway?” Ty asked.

“Something like, ‘you can’t do this,’” I replied.

My dad had wandered into the room. “So they do all these stunts, and then the contestants have to try to do them?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

My sister Random turned from the TV to me with an odd look on her face. “bob, did he just…”

“Yes, he did just stare blatantly at that woman’s chest. They do that a lot on this channel. I’m sorry, I would watch a soap if any were on.”

Dad grinned. “You mean that ‘Diablo con los Guapos’ or something?”

“Or the Spanish ‘Desperate Housewives’?” Draik added.

“Yes. Like that. Now be quiet so I can watch this. I need to write a paper on it for my Spanish class.”

All was quiet for a while, as a typical game show got on much how a typical game show does, in Spanish or English. Only the ways to win money change; in this case, contestants get it by doing stunts.

“bob, why are there scantily clad dancers?” Poor, innocent, 12-year-old Ty was purposefully looking away from the screen.

I shrugged. “’Cause they can. Honestly, all the shows I’ve watched, aside from the soaps, have scantily clad dancers for apparently no reason. Apparently the Spanish channels don’t have as much of a sense of propriety as Americans do. Or, perhaps, Americans swear and are more violent on TV, and Spanish channels are more sensual. Oh, nobody watch this commercial.” I turned off the TV for a couple of minutes.

As A Que no Puedes! ended, Random looked at me again. “Who won?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the Spanish shows care more about the spectacle than the winning of money. Oh, look, the clown show is on!”

Draik turned away from the computer, where he was facebooking as if his life depended on it. “What? Why clowns? What happens?”

“I don’t know. Stuff.”

“bob, why are there scantily clad cat dancers?” Ty couldn’t get past the dancers, apparently.

“I don’t know. Aw, man, they didn’t do the armpit dance.”

Dad had wandered into the room again. “Armpit dance?”

“Yeah. The cat dancers go along in front of the front row of the audience and show them their armpits, while everyone pretends they are really stinky.”

“Why?” It doesn’t matter who said this, since everyone was thinking it.

“I have no idea.”

“Hey, bob, what are they saying?” This was Danny, looking up from the DS long enough to notice that there was something going on in the living room.

“Oh, the clown dude is instructing that other dude to profess his love to the cat dancer, as if they were actors in a movie or something.”

“Why?”

At this point, I turned my eyes heavenward. “I really don’t know. In fact, I don’t know why most of the things that happened on Spanish shows happen. They seem to have no purpose whatsoever. Makes you wonder how all these apparent traditions got started.”

“So a key factor in being a Spanish show is that you don’t make any sense?”

“Yeah, something along those lines.”

Danny went back to his DS-ing. “Spanish people are weird.”

I shrugged, which is something I seem to do a lot while watching Spanish TV. “Oh, look, they’re going to have people sing now.”

“Why?”

“If someone says that word again, I will send you all to bed. I don’t know why. It’s kinda like American Idol auditions, though, except it’s all a joke.”

“Is that one old woman really a man?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re putting honey on that guy’s head!”

“Yeah, they do that while people sing.”

“Put honey on their heads?”

“Well, do odd stuff in general. Like put wigs or sunglasses on them, or tie them up, or dump stuff on them. Oh, look, now the clown guy is going to sing. He has a good voice.”

“What’s he singing about?”

“Um… his heart, and how it belongs to a girl, and something about going to a restaurant.”

Draik gave me a skeptical look from the computer. “Don’t you know Spanish?”

“Not that well! I’m working on it, mmkay? And anyway, he’s singing kinda fast and stuff. Oh! Hey! I recognized that phrase – I learned it in Dance of the Cucumber. What a great song. I wonder if I could get extra credit for singing it in Spanish class. I could certainly use the points.”

“bob, are you almost done yet?”

I raised my eyebrows at Random. “You could go to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed.”

“It’s past your bedtime. Oh, nobody watch this commercial.” I turned off the TV again. This time, I forgot to turn it on for a good ten minutes. “Blast, now I’ll have to watch more.”

“Why are you watching TV in Spanish, anyway?”

I gave Random an exasperated look. “I think I already went over this. I have to for my class, for a cultural activity. I have to observe something and write about how it differs from our culture, as well as noting any new words or phrases I learn.”

Random looked dismayed. “So you’ll have to do this again?”

“No. I can only do it once. Now hush, I need to pay attention. I don’t know if I’ve yet learned and observed enough to fill a page.”

Out of all that I learned from watching Spanish TV the other day, I think the thing I will remember the most is that I should never watch it with all my siblings in the room. Not only is some of it a little to adult for some of them, they can’t keep their mouths shut!

Things

2009-01-22T22:22:00.002-07:00

Watching Goober eat seafood she's never had before is hilarious.

High School Musical 3 is hilarious.

I'm entirely unhappy that I left my camera in the car.

I'm still full.

My play refuses to be good.

And it's due tomorrow.

Someday She'll Be A Star

2009-01-14T13:27:00.004-07:00

Last night, mother, Siri and I were watching the American Idol auditions at my insistence. (I don't watch the actual show, just the auditions.) This put Siri and me into very singing moods, I as I did dishes during the commercials and she, well, all the time.

At one point she made this odd "Ahhh-ooo" or something sound, and then sang "Bow chicka bow bow" and did actions. I was quite amused and told her that she should do it again while I filmed her.

This is what she came up with.

If anyone knows how to get this video not-sideways, I'd be most grateful if you'd share that information with me.

Poor Caitlin

2009-01-09T13:29:00.004-07:00

Caiti doesn't like some of the toys she recently inherited from her older sister Siri. Topping her list of dislikes is this toy:

The Room Adventures, Part Three and a Half: It's Easy Painting Green

2009-01-08T10:55:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I capitalize everything in any title I write. I don't yet have an answer.

Now to go on about that artisticness...

This was me. As I said before, I was inspired by the green paint.

Random's hand print. Doesn't show up nearly as well as white on blue. Also, Random didn't have much paint on her hand when she pressed it against the wall.

Goober's only contribution this time.

This was where I imprisoned Goober so that she would do the fiddly bits for me. *evil cackle*

Getting paint on the door was an accident. After that, well, I'm always one who wants to take the easy road, so we painted the door instead of cleaning off the paint. I'm glad we did. It looks nice now.

The Room Adventures, while far from over, seem to be over for the time being. I have one more post, one more set of pictures, and then I'll be done for a while. It's been fun!

Options

2009-01-07T16:31:00.002-07:00

1. Stick it out in Spanish this semester, hopefully getting a doctor's note and working with the university to make it easier.

2. Drop Spanish this semester and work at getting better at not getting myself sick so I can take Spanish later.

3. Taking math is not an option.

4. Try to get into ASL. Learning hand motions for English words has got to be better for my poor befuddled mind than learning new words and verbs and tenses and sentence structures and stuff.

5. Dying is not an option.

6. School is important.

Bulletin

2009-01-04T20:02:00.002-07:00

The Room Adventures coverage has been slightly postponed due to massive headaches. It is tentatively scheduled to return to regular broadcasting tomorrow, depending on how bad the headaches are and how well bob manages her time.

Thank you for your attention and concern.

-The Boss

The Room Adventures, Part Three: Distracted by Shelving

2009-01-03T13:00:00.004-07:00

Yesterday there was more than painting to do. School starts next week, and I had books to buy. First was a trip to the bank to get a new card and to make sure that the grant had been deposited (yay grant!), then to BYU to buy my one textbook and other supplies. Money spent on school: less than $200.

Then off to do some room-related errands!

The wallpaper store where we finally bought the paint. We'd realized that we needed to do more than one coat, and so needed more than one can, and since we were insisting on mistint paint we got a whitish color and a light green, assured that the green would mix in and be even lighter.

We couldn't find the exact primer we'd used at the wallpaper store, and we needed some more of that, so we headed off for Lowe's again. And here was where we were distracted.

Distracted by shelving.

I need shelves in my room, you see; I have much stuff, and I'll be down to one carroll by the end of this. So we got some shelves.

Apparently we were gone a bit too long. (Random and Siri had come along for the ride, but we'd left them in the car.)

And, well, despite how long we'd been out already, I was now remembering that I needed new rugs too. So it was off to WalMart!

Goober vetoed this rug. We eventually got some cream colored ones, and finally finally headed home. With chocolate. Blasted Valentine's Day sale...

We finished up the primer - there hadn't been much to do - and got out the green and white paint.

All marbleized and pretty before we mixed it together properly.

Now to paint!

We're something of a creative lot, so of course we can't just paint. Oh no. We had started playing back with the first coat of primer.

Goober's handprints.

I started this flower, but Goober finished it. I particularly like the little leaf.

This started out as a regular smiley face - just two lines for eyes, a line for a mouth, and a tongue. Then Goober kept going, adding hair, the rest of the head, a neck (I thought it was a goatee at first) and a shirt. I snapped the picture as soon as I had stopped laughing.

But Goober was not satisfied with it, and she continued even after I'd gotten the picture. She added so much that I really thought we'd be missing out if I didn't take another picture.

The white on the dark blue was really fun - it stood out a lot. But green on white was fun too. I was the first to draw something.

A something that blogger refuses to load. Rrrg. Well, stay tuned for part three and a half, I suppose.

The Room Adventures, Part Two and a Half: The Shoe of Life

2009-01-02T12:38:00.003-07:00

Well here's the picture of Siri that blogger refused to put up earlier. I wonder why they don't like her.

Taking down things in the wall... which prompted even more jokes of a risqué nature.

Time for priming! Exciting!

And this time we'll make Random do the fiddly bits.

The Room Adventures, Part Two: Fiddly Bits

2009-01-02T11:24:00.008-07:00

The stripping continues!

While Goober continued working on the huge patches, I got the stepladder and started working on all the bits left up near the ceiling. And here is where I found a phrase I love to say and describes the bane of my existence: fiddly bits.

These are fiddly bits. They sit there, taunting me, purposely only coming off in tiny pieces while Goober stands there pulling off entire sheets at one go.

There had been fiddly bits earlier too.

All these little bits that had to be picked up and put away... it's so much more fun to carry around boxes and bags of stuff, not pick up little bits of trash and little things to put away.

There is not yet a picture of me in these Adventures so here's me pulling down some fiddly bits:

Finally all the wallpaper was down, aside from little bits that would come off with scrubbing. So we took off on a trip, intending to buy paint and sponges for scrubbing.

After trips to a fabric store, a craft store, a closed paint store, and WalMart, we had purchased a ceiling (more on that later), some food, and sponges. No paint. Not yet. And sadly, there are no pictures of this epic trip.

Now to scrub the walls! With all the lingering white bits gone, Goober noticed that the patches that had been repaired years ago looked like clouds.

Now it was time to put primer on the walls, and it was at this point that Camryn became a real nuisance.

Cute, but in the way.

And here is where I get so frustrated with the way blogger keeps refusing to upload my photos that I give up and leave the story of the primer for another time.

The Room Adventures, Part One: Stripping in the Basement

2008-12-31T21:37:00.020-07:00

Goober hates it when my room is messy. Hates it. When she first said we would be cleaning my room together, I wasn't surprised. What did surprise me was that she meant it - I had taken it as a subtle hint that I should really clean my room.

Several months later, she was once again sure that we should clean my room - thoroughly.

Oh, I know the fridge there and the edge of the carroll look messy, but that wall is missing posters, papers, necklaces and the like hung from pins, my mirror, and a bookshelf that should be off to the right there.

That wall, obviously, still has its posters and junk. And there's another carroll. And Siri's chest of drawers. And bookshelves. And stuff hanging from the ceiling.

Have I told you about my ceiling yet?

This ceiling? Or lack thereof?

I am much in the habit of hanging things from it. It can be quite useful at times.

And there's my closet. And the scoring on the wallpaper that I did when I was ten or something.

I had to clean out my fridge before moving it.

Maybe I should clean out my fridge a little more often. (If you guessed that that's a chunk of cheese there, you win the prize!)

And things over here are vanishing too! And DUST!

Are you wondering where we're putting all this stuff?

In the boy's bathroom, meaning that we couldn't shut the door and were therefore forced to put up this makeshift door.

In the hallway in front of the door to the boy's room. (And no, I couldn't be bothered to turn these pictures properly. You try doing what I did today and then see how much you want to fiddle with images.)

In the family room, piled on top of junk that was already there.

In boxes in the family room.

Tomorrow I'll put up a picture of what the family room looks like right now. For the moment I'll leave you with one word: inaccessible.

Wow... it's all empty-like.

Ducks! Also, the age-old question: my room is the darkest in the house. I never get direct sunlight. So what idiot decided to paint and wallpaper in dark colors??

I think it's time for that dark wallpaper to go down.

All that stripping left me and Goober with appetites, and so we quit and feasted on festive New Year's Eve snacks.

What was I doing New Year's? Stripping in the basement.

Huzzah?

2008-12-28T13:01:00.002-07:00

It seems we have officially pinpointed what is making me sick this time. Yay! Except that we can only be so sure because I'm sick right now. My mother will be keeping an eye on me for the next couple of days to make sure I'm at least getting water in me, and after that I should be recovering again.

Yay?

In other news, the hamster that my sister was promised for Christmas was purchased. She's a pretty little thing, and I would post a picture of her if, you know, I had one. Taking pictures of a hamster is a little hard when one is confined to the couch. Boo named her Rocky and is a little obsessed by it. I feel rather guilty about the fact that I purposely pay more attention to her when she's looking in the cage, ready to pounce on any hamster lore she made up or order her away when I think she's been there too long. I'm a jerk, but sometimes that poor thing just wants to be left alone.

Ow.

Unfortunately, things have been so *something* that I had to abandon my Twelve Days of Christmas stuff, unless I feel like trying to catch up today which is unlikely.

And right now I would like to fall asleep.

Rock Band

2008-12-25T20:21:00.003-07:00

Patsy, the non-singer of the family (can sing but doesn't, so doesn't have as much training as the rest of us): best at the mic.

Draik, bob, Random (aka the singers): good at everything but mic.

Best way to watch while not playing: lie on the floor under the TV and watch it upside down.

Only way to get Siri out of our hair: let her play drums every once and a while (and then redo the song) or turn of the mic or guitar and give it to her.

Cait: in the way.

Wrists: hurting.

Hilarity: ensues.