Unicorns

Siri, our current expert on all things pink and sparkly, is here to answer your questions and fill the gaps in your knowledge. Today's topic: unicorns.


Q: When did the legend of the unicorns start?
A: I don't know. Last year.

Q: Is there any truth to it?
A: What?

Q: The legend. Of the unicorns. How much of it is real?
A: Unicorns are real!

Q: Where do they live?
A: They live in South America, on a farm where horses live.

Q: What do they look like?
A: They look like brown horses. They are white. They are white and pink. They are 20 feet tall. They have very long twisty-tidies with pokes at the end. The twisty-tidies are pink. Pink is my favorite color! But some unicorns don't have swirly things, twisty-tidies. They might have mistletoe! They have very big hooves, and they wear shoes on them. The shoes look like cat toes. Like cat-unicorn toes. Babies are two feet tall and have little paws like kitties.

Q: Okay, thank you. Um, what do unicorns eat?
A: They eat hay. And chickens. And they drink! Unicorns drink!

Q: What do they drink?
A: They drink water.

Q: What do unicorns do?
A: They go gallup-a-trot, and dance (here Cami did some head-banging and break-dancing), and some of them sneak, like cats, but sometimes they have to sit on their body or curl up so people can get on them. They go up on their hind legs, but magically, right up high like a little bird. Unicorns tip over, and guess what they can do? They walk on two legs, up high and down low, and then their sharp, their poke, it gets sharper. They can freak out. And they wave good-bye at their very own friends.

Q: Wow, that's -
A: They can go to unicorn parties. They eat horse food, or they can eat somebody else's food. And they grow up and up and up. And they will have problems, if they don't have the very sharp ones on their heads. Give them a drink and horse medicine, and take them to the unicorn doctor. The unicorn doctor will check out the throat and the tummy, and check out what things look like.

Q: Uh -
A: I saw a unicorn, far away, by Timpanogas Cave, and it ran like a blur far away all the way to the end. Unicorns neigh like horses. But they can't talk. And they go to school, and they can have fun at school! And they have to go to the bathroom. And the unicorns have a big, big unicorn computer.

Here I distracted her by mentioning princesses, then trapped her in the closet. She eventually talked herself to sleep.