Monday, October 20, 2008

Sometimes I like telling people that they've failed.

I'm not a mean person, I promise! But sometimes people don't seem to realize that they're batting zero. I consider it my right, my duty, to inform them of this fact.

Take the road in front of the MOA - the one way road between the actual building and the parking lot. Do you hear me? One way. One way. ONE FREAKIN' WAY. Two lanes, one way. This is apparently very hard for several drivers to grasp. Either that, or they're lazy and would rather risk an accident than go a little out of their way to get to a free parking spot. And they are risking accidents. Yeah, I check for other cars before driving or stepping onto the street, but when I see them to the left of me, I assume they will turn left, considering the one way street thing. And if they don't, it's an out loud "You fail! F minus minus!" from me. Or my dad. Or both of us.

And then there's that crosswalk between the WILK and the law building parking lot (yes, I know I've talked about it at least once before). I'm almost ready to believe there's something in the sidewalk there that either slows down certain brain functions or instills a strong, hopefully temporary disregard for everyone aside from oneself. This results in much crossing at the wrong time. Starting just before the little green dude comes on I can handle, and starting after the hand starts flashing is okay as long as you hurry (and the hand has only flashed once or twice) - in fact, I've done this myself. *gasp* Crossing when the light is green is when I'm not shy about telling you that you've failed, and Dragon Lady and Laser Jock apparently agree with me on this.

To quote Laser Jock - "many dead pedestrians had the right of way." And, may I add, many more dead ones didn't and crossed anyway. And even those who don't die get a stern "Failure!" from me.

But failure is not confined to the realms of driving and crossing the street! I'm quite fond of pointing out hymns sung way too slowly, inept flirting attempts, and bad haircuts; I gleefully shot out "You fail!" when I spot someone tripping or dropping something; my sarcastic clapping is surpassed only by my entirely fake "good job..."

Well, maybe I am a mean person. Sometimes.

Days to NaNoWriMo: 12

Donations: $0

2 comments:

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Some of us still have bad habits from Mexico where we had to run across the street as quickly as we could because drivers don't care about pedestrians and thus the only way to cross is to do so illegally. Of course I don't advocate crossing when the light is green and there is a car barrowling towards you.

Werf said...

You know the intersection between University Parkway and 900 East? There were always crazy college students trying to run me over when I had a walk sign and they had a red light... I got hit once. Ick!