UFO'S EXPLAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, tonight my dad and I were sitting on the couch eating potato chips (bleh) and watching this UFO show. And we were having fun. My dad is the guy that had us all laughing hysterically through a ghost TV show. Anywhere he is is a party, if others are willing for it to be so.

Anyway, we're watching this show. We complain about the people on there who use "UFO" incorrectly, not realizing/remembering that "UFO" means "unidentified flying object." We make fun of the "big question" - namely, is there life on other planets? Well, yeah. (Reminds me of that horrid Christmas song... "Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?" My answer: "Yes. Now quit singing.") And then we got to some "Even skeptics can't deny this!!!" stuff - in this case, these military men went out to check on a perhaps downed aircraft and found these indentations in a scuffed area, and they were measuring them when they saw this red light that looked exactly like an eye, somehow, and then it started moving through the trees... even my dad admitted it was aliens.

"Okay, look, I can explain this. This alien astronomer was out looking at the stars, and he needed a... pit stop, you know? And he was using a red light so as not to destroy his night vision." (For those who are not amateur astronomy dudes like my dad, every astronomer worth his salt carries a red light to see with, as the light will not destroy the night vision an astronomer needs to see the starts better.)

We then realized why we have all these UFO sightings but no visitations: Earth is merely a pit stop in the way to somewhere else.

Then it got to the part about so-called alien abductions, and I decided it was time for me to go to bed. Last time I watched something like that I couldn't sleep for a week.

My Room

What someone would learn about me, simply by walking into my room:

-I like cats

-my real name

-I'm Mormon

-I like Ireland, or something

-I really like books, especially fantasy (Terry Pratchett, Brian Jacques, Brandon Sanderson, Diana Wynne Jones, Eoin Colfer...)

-I'm proud of my lousy artwork

-I share my room with someone

Questions they would want to ask:

-What is that huge trophy from? (A Mutual activity.)

-Why are you using a red piece of fabric as a curtain, especially when the wallpaper is dark green and blue? (Feng Shui)

-Why are there ducks on the wallpaper? (I have no idea.)

-What is with that watch being struck by lightning up there? (Long story, involving an art class and a mind that thinks differently than most people's.)

-Have you really read all of these books? (Yes. Well, most of them. I've bought around 30 in the past few months, and many I haven't gotten around to. But most of them I have.)

Sometimes, I Don't Want to Know...

But then an other man appeared and said "Hey guys, what's goin' on?"
And they all said, "Shut up, Devon."
"And he was all like," Rats. But then he "said, Timer eat Mary-l"
But then James spun him around in his swivel chair and he got dizzy and Devin bought him(self) a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly.
Butt then the sqwerl team a peard and et Devin and Mariel laughed ha ha. And James et a chrunchy dill. and there was much rejoicing yay.
And a giant mutant monster skunk stepped on the building and said "Oops."
And then, Voldemort zapped he.
And then, Voldemort zapped I.
And then, Harry Potter fainted.
And then, and they day. Day?
die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die, "said Voldemort."
Then Chameleon Guy gave Voldemort a Super Shmack and kronked him over the head with a Sugar Shake.
"Rats," said voldemort tom riddle.
Then Mariel, James, Abby, Cake, Carry, Kari, Chameleon Guy, Voldemort, and Vince the giant mutant monster skunk all did the can-can. Then all those guys except Voldemort teamed up and repeatedly smacked Voldemort with billy clubs.
And then, came the guy who goes ,"Eh heh he" and et a man who wasn't a man he was a dill. Pickle.
And he said, ":)"
And then he said, "Timer EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETT!"
Butt then, SuperBatIncredibileGuy came and kicked some tail. Like Voldemort tail. He doesn't need a tail to get it kicked, Cheley Belly. Oh m' bellay.
Said the sour kangro.l
And from now on, know what I'l going to do? I'll protect my country. and liberty and stuff, you know.
But then what happened? uh... dang, what did happen? Ema readed Voldemort's palm. His palm said, 'raspberry. You know, the tongue raspberry.
So, Alan... Wright? No, it's Matthew Wright. Well, what's Alan's name then? Alen's's's's's name is funkydunk. No it's not Melissa back off. Alan... couldn't be Turner. NOt Austen. umm... what was it? I named he, I should know. Melissa, did you read the story he was in? That I rote? ummmmmmmmmmm........ maybe......... what's it about ? Orphanages and people who are like you and are sisters of Alans. orphaNEGes........ I read it ................. go look it up. why??????? so go on. So anyway? The super squishy squish moblie was like "hey guys, lets go get some pixzza. bytheway john the x's is be silenced and stuff.
Then Maryl was like, "We're all goingto die if we don't get sommat twa et. How bout a bout with the itlyane scalyane? that's is not excepible. so toyla maked a trampolene witha piece of sting waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Timer EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT!! Grumio:Are they ready?
Verminard: (exaperated)they are
Grumio:Send them in!
(the next peoples to talk are a random assortment of girls who are forced to flirt with Micheal. poor them. losers hah hah hah. but they actually sound like they ARE flirting with him)
Welcome home Grumio
How now Grumio?
What Grumio.
How now old lad?
Grumio: Welcome you, how now you, what you, and so much for greeting
narrator: now i will skip to a different secne where i actually have a line or two.

Grumio:fie fie. of all tired jades, was ever a man beaten, was ever a man so weary.something about a fire. holla ho curtis.
Curtis: who is it that calls so coldly?
Grumio:(puts curtis in a head lock) a piece of ice. something about a heel. and therefore fire good curtis.
(man enters with wood)
Man: something about the whereabouts of my master?
Grumio: blah blah blah. and therefore fire! (verminard enters with pail of water, knocks into the man with wood, the wood gets drenched)
Grumio: Cast on no water!
narrator: there is a bunch of stuff and we will enter back in during one of Grumio's lectures.
Grumio:....Whose hand, she being now at hand, you will feel to the cold comfort in this hot office? (about to smite curtis' head off)
Sarai!!!!!!!!!!!: I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Danny or Dani?I prefer Dani. mebbe Dany?naw, danny or dani. pittle ittle twa the little tea pot short and beanlike, just like Ed!!!(by the way, john danny wrote that) Ed ed bo bed banana fanna fo fed me my mo med Ed! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh and evil swacer is here to suck tyler's sole out through his left elbow!!!!! a Safari? let's click it!

I found this while cleaning out files today. I think Patsy wrote most of it, and Random helped.

It's Diviiiiiine Comedyyyyyyy!!!!

(Once There Was a Snowman)

Once there were some cougars, cougars, cougars
Once there were some cougars
Rise and shout

(Chorus of Miley Cyrus's See You Again)

Come on, let's rise and shout
Oh how our cheers will ring out
As we're unfolding our vict'ry story!
And on, on, on we'll go
We'll vanquish every foe
For Alma Mater's sons and daughters.
In cougs our faith is strong
And we will join in song
Colors high in the blue
Oh we can't wait to beat you again.

(Chorus of Breakfast at Tiffany's)

And I said, what about BYU football?
She said, I've been to one or two games
Oh yes, I recall we sang the cougar Fight Song
And I said, isn't that song just great?

(Me to You by the Beatles)

We are on the trail to fame
We'll join in song for you
Our cheers will ring while our colors are high
We're fans in white and blue

(Chorus of Love Song by Sara Bareilles)

And we're going to sing you a fight song
And we're cheering you
'Cause you're winning, you see

(Banana Boat Song)

First down! Me say first down!
Cougars run down the football field
Ten yards, five yards, and touchdown!

(After a moment of fumbling, a BYU keychain is pulled out. A moment later, the Fight Song comes out of it, rather tinnily.)

We hope that this is the audition that gets me in.

Excuses

"I apologize for being late... I have excuses, but none of them are any good."

"It's a long story involving my dad's keys, $60, and a visit to TacoTime, but I'll spare you the details. All you need know is that the mission was accomplished and none of our side got hurt."

"Sorry. My partner and I had a bit of trouble getting past the enemy."

"Not tonight, I have a secret mission to complete."

These quotes:
A) Have all been said by me
B) Were true when said, in a roundabout way
C) A) and B)

C) IS CORRECT

I Wonder

"Well, what seems to be the problem?"

"I don't really know that there is a problem..." (she shifts in her chair)

"You wouldn't have come to me if there wasn't a problem."

"True. Well, you see, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"When will someone love me?"

(astonished silence)

"Many people love you. You have many friends, several siblings, parents..."

(sigh) "I thought you'd say that. Thanks for your help."

"You're... welcome?"

Eric Snider is Hilarious

"And lo, verily, the mother of Jesus said: Jesus, why is it thou art now in thy thirties yet thou hast not married? What is wrong with that lovely Magdalene girl? Why dost thou not marry her? And Jesus sayeth unto her: Woman, the day I am wed to Mary Magdalene is the day I eat a pork chop wrapped in bacon, for verily, I shall never marry her nor any other woman, for lo, that is how I roll." -Eric Snider

Questions

Where do you live?

Only people I like get that information, and I'm not sure I like you.

Do you like Jeeps?

Well, I suppose. They're a little difficult to get into, but I've heard I'm rather good at getting into them. I've heard. (subject shrugs)

What color?

Red. You know, there are days when everything is red. Everything, everyone. Except me. I'm gold.

You're gold?

Aye. Rather pretty, isn't it? It actually belongs to my friend. Though she hates it when I say that. I don't understand why.

Is it true you have food allergies?

Well, aye. Kinda. I mean, it's an intolerance actually. Or so the doctor says. Which is why I don't die when I eat the stuff. But I check anyway. That's why I read the ingredients on the box of cornflakes. I have to be careful. Or so I tell myself. And that's why I eat my hamburgers with lettuce. (subject shakes her head) Though I still can't believe the put the bacon on top of the lettuce...

I heard you hate Goonies.

Oh aye. And I don't know why, so don't ask, mate. I just do. I'd take a musical any day.

How do you feel about sprinklers?

(subject laughs) They're forgiven. They're forgiven. Though they're lucky I'm fast.

What about silence?

What about it?

How do you feel about it?

Most of the time it's awkward, and then I hate it. However, sometimes it's all right. Though I suppose I really should talk anyway... I wonder... (subject ponders for a while, and doesn't pay attention until her name has been said three times)

Have you had any fun recently?

That was a lot of fun... the most fun I've had on an outing like that probably ever. I mean, I don't have much of a track record to compare it too, but that's still something. Much is to be said about a lack of awkwardness.

Would you do it again?

Would I ever. (subject smiles)

(end of interview)

School

As first days go, I suppose it wasn't too bad.

I did have to wear a jacket and a sweatshirt to school, and I was still cold, but it is fall, sortofnotreally. Even if I don't remember it ever being this cold this early before. (And wasn't there supposed to be global warming or something going on?)

And then there is, again, my wonderful talent for getting classes that are right after each other and on opposite ends of campus. Going from the Bookstore to the JSB to the JKB isn't too bad, though, especially compared to last semester's mad dash from the HFAC to the Maeser Building. Or my father's "I had to run from class to the basement of the HFAC to get my instrument, and then I had to run from there all the way to the practice field. In only ten minutes!"

I didn't even get very lost. I did mark down my schedule correctly, causing me to be in the right room but on the wrong day, and I did have to wander around the HFAC for ten minutes before I found my acting class, but that's better than the time I was fifteen minutes late because I didn't realize my class was actually a level above me.

Nah, not too bad. Even when I count how much homework I have. I mean, it could be worse. I could have had to give up my life savings for tuition instead of spending grant money on it. I could have had to pay full tuition, using all my grant money. : ( I could have had to use my summer's savings on books (like that nice girl in my religion class) instead of, again, using grant money. I could have had to beg my parents for money for school supplies instead of three-guesses-what-goes-here-and-the-first-two-don't-count. And it's very nice that I had enough money left over to put $100 on my phone, $50 on my student ID, pay off my braces, spend $200 on fun books last Saturday, and buy an iPod.

Maybe I should stop now before someone shoots me.

And Now For Something Rather Different

Dear Chilly often posts fill-ins and whatnot on her blog, and usually I read them, smile, and go on with life. Today, for some reason, I decided I would like to try one myself.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
1. I'm not insane, and I apologize for seeming to be. (I was only 14, remember.) Could you please look past that and get to know me? I would love to be your friend.
2. I want so badly for you to be one of my 'do this' role models instead of one of my 'don't do this' role models. Please.
3. Could you please tell me whether you a) are too scared to ask me out, b) haven't yet realized I rather like you, or c) wish I would leave you alone?
4. Give me a chance.
5. Talking to you always makes me happy, and I hope I make you happy too. We're really alike in many ways and I wish we were better friends.
6. There are so many things which make me so very proud of you. I wish you didn't constantly work to make me forget these things.
7. I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you. But I do strongly disagree with some of your cherished opinions. I don't like confrontation, and I'm pretty sure you'd just brush me off if I brought up my objections; that's why I often don't want to talk to you.
8. I'm sorry.
9. Do you yet realize that your behavior was inappropriate?
10. You have a girlfriend, and she's not me. Please remember this.

Nine Things About Myself:
1. I hate living in a messy room/house, but it's really hard for me to actually clean.
2. I talk with several different accents, admittedly not always successfully.
3. I need around eight hours of sleep, which means my bedtime is the totally uncool hour of 9:00 PM. Deal.
4. Having money for books is often more important than having money for food.
5. I have never done anything to my hair aside from get it cut and curl, crimp, and straighten it a few times.
6. People are hard for me in many ways. I have trouble starting and continuing conversations with people I don't know very well, and even when someone is a friend of mine I occasionally wonder if they really do like me. I hate talking on the phone or asking someone a question. I usually work much better alone than in a group. Somehow, all this changes if I'm in charge.
7. Most of the time, despite my shyness, I will take any reason to start singing wherever I am.
8. There are many things I love to do and have a talent for, but I don't take time to do them, so I'm not as good as I could be. This had better change, as I know I have so much potential and will be guilty for the rest of my life if I don't develop.
9. I like to think I'm witty.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Ice cream.
2. Remember me - send a text or e-mail, say hi when you see me.
3. Play with my hair or rub my back.
4. Listen to me as I prattle on about my story ideas, and be willing to discuss my problems with characters and plot details.
5. Go talk to salespeople and the like for me.
6. Don't play practical jokes on me. I don't know why, but I really hate them. April 1st is my least favorite day of the year.
7. Be willing to do things with me; I often hate going places by myself.
8. Include me.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:
1. I can do better than this.
2. Wow... I'm so blessed.
3. I wonder what [someone] is doing right now...
4. I wish I could just sit here and read this.
5. I should really get to work.
6. I shouldn't have eaten that.
7. Where on earth did I put my [something]?

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Take out my contacts, wash my face, etc.
2. Read to Siri.
3. Plug in my phone and make sure the alarm is on.
4. Turn off the lamp.
5. Convince myself that there is nothing to be afraid of, that I'm too old to be scared of the dark.
6. Make up stories until I fall asleep.

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
1. My parents
2. All of my siblings
3. Goober
4. My many Board and other friends
5. So that's about 30 people or something already.

Four Things You’re Wearing Right Now:
1. A dress my mother made a long time ago for herself
2. Flower earrings I bought for prom
3. Makeup
4. A smile

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):
1. White Man by Steeleye Span
2. Songs from Scarlet Pimpernel
3. TMBG

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Go to Ireland
2. Be a published author, a professional singer, and a wonderful mother

One Confession:
1. I feel guilty right now for not going doing the dishes half an hour ago.

---

No matter what my intentions are, no matter how determined I am to watch a TV show, play a game, or write, I am not able to stay awake past about 9:30 PM these days.

I really can't. My eyelids droop, my head drops, my limbs are heavy and unwieldy. I'm tired.

I'm exhausted.

I'm weary.

Maybe it's 'cause I'm getting up at six.

Maybe it's 'cause I am, again, throwing good sense out the window and eating sugar all day.

I don't know what it is, but I wish it'd stop.

And now I must go to bed. I nearly fell asleep sitting up while writing this.

Family Life

This is what family life should be like.

We come home from a shopping trip, and everyone helps. Even Draik. And we dance around singing and generally being happy and enjoying each other's company.

Well, except for Boo, who stomped around 'cause she had to help.

And Bamboo 7, who is moping about the kitchen because he was told to wash some of the dishes (Random and Connor already washed most of them).

But yeah, aside from that, we're all one big happy family. Which seems an odd phrase to apply to an actual family.

For once.

Boy Are My Sides Sore!

So, the Wii Fit that my father ordered from the Bookstore ages and ages ago finally came. We promptly played it. A day and a half later, we have filled up all the available spots (8) and are competing to see who can remain number one after a full day's play.

My Wii age is 22 (I refuse to count today's, as I had some consistency troubles), only two years older than I actually am, which is pretty good. Or so they say. I would personally rather be my actual age, but whatever.

Yesterday was when we had our first problem with the Balance Board that came with: it needed a name! Robin, Keaton, Blue, Patsy, and I-don't-think-it-needs-a-name were rejected immediately. We tried Dirk Manly, hoping to have some laughs about the obviously manly name to go with a board that bounced around the screen and spoke in a high-pitched voice. However, it was just too odd. After playing around with Bob ("That's my name!") and other names that had two b's, we chose Webbi. We Balance Board. Or something.

So we step and we run and we ski and we pilot bubbles down rivers and we hit soccer balls and we do yoga and we (I) do (fail) push-ups and all sorts of fun. Oh, yeah, and the hula hoops, where I have a high score even though my body forgets how to hula halfway through and sort of flails about uselessly.

And that's why my sides are sore.

P.S. Siri has now wet the bed three nights in a row, mine twice and Random's once. What is up with this girl?

Early Mornings

Someday, someday, I will finish talking about that vacation we took almost two weeks ago.

But for now, I want to talk about other stuff.

3 AM Tuesday

I got up. I needed to go to the bathroom, a direct result of downing two glasses of water right before going to bed.

This meant that all was going according to plan.

I crept to the door, noting the red lights on in the kitchen and living room. That meant my father had gotten up first, but no matter. The door was locked, so he probably wasn't outside.

But he was.

I joined him on the lawn, glasses slightly askew, folding my arms tightly for warmth. He spoke of constellations and falling meteors, then laughed about a sore neck and proceeded to the backyard. I followed.

We climbed onto the trampoline, carefully avoiding his books and papers. I grabbed the yellow afghan and wrapped it around me. Father turned on his red reading light and began looking through a book.

Around ten minutes and two meteors later, I proclaimed I was going to bed. I was, I admit, slightly disappointed. Blast those city lights. I decided that next time I was going to arrange a camping trip so I could actually see some of these meteors.

5 AM Tuesday

I woke again, first noting that Siri had climbed into bed with me, next noting that I was wet.

Wet.

I was quickly as fully awake as I had been two hours ago. I flipped on a light and took stock. I wasn't just wet, I was soaked! I glared at the oblivious child in my bed, and the large wet spot around her, and quickly changed clothes. Then I went upstairs with my phone and crashed on the loveseat.

4 AM Wednesday.

I was awakened from a deep sleep under borrowed blankets (the girl soaked everything!) by someone pounding on the door. A moment later, I registered a long, loud sound, which I at first thought was a train. But it went on far too long. Siri woke up and asked me what it was. It wasn't until after the sound stopped that I realized there was another reason for Siri to be awake: I was wet.

Wet.

Again?

We had asked her five times before she went to be wether she had gone to the bathroom! She hadn't had anything to drink! What happened?

I got up and changed, rather angrily, and found some clean underpants for the guilty one. As she changed, I stomped upstairs, where Father was wandering around and Mother was up feeding Caiti. There was also a very bright light out front.

"What happened?"

"The horn on the Astro was stuck on. A police officer came to tell us to turn it off."

Well, that was cool. I mean, in a way. But I quickly got over the coolness of it all and began to complain about my problem. My mother was strangely sympathetic, despite being up and taking care of the baby at four in the morning, and vacated the couch so I could have it as soon as I came back from the trailer with some more blankets. I made Siri go sleep with Random.

So. That's what I've been doing these days. Getting up early and getting mad at my sister for wetting the bed.

National Parks Monopoly

So, mates, I did indeed got to Mirror Lake last weekend. It was great fun.

Well. Um. Okay, most of us had fun.

We were determined to get out of the house by eleven A.M., and for once, it looked like we were going to accomplish this. I was out with my aunt Sue at about eleven, and my family was supposed to follow.

They didn't.

Sue got a call while I was in Taco Time getting some breakfast: the trailer, which we were borrowing from friends, had had its registration paid but the sticker hadn't been put on. Quite glad that it had be caught by us before we left instead of a cop on the road, Mother called the friends.

"Let me call my husband."

"He took it to work with him. We can get it in 45 minutes."

Something good came out of this delay: I remembered that my glasses were still at home.

Finally on the road, I surprised myself by actually carrying on a conversation with my aunt instead of reading all the way. The trip was uneventful, not counting when Father thought he heard something flapping around and when Sue and I noticed a brake light was out. We arrived at the ranger station to buy our tickets or whatever for the campsite. It is here that I notice a most wonderful, wonderful thing.

National Parks Monopoly.

I love Monopoly, mates, all different kinds of Monopoly. In fact, I don't really like the original; I want the interesting ones. My greatest regret when I visited Disneyland was that I bought Disney chess instead of Monopoly. I have an electronic Monopoly game. I love our Star Wars Monopoly. And now here was National Parks Monopoly staring me in the face!

Problem: I wasn't getting paid until the next day. And all of my money was in savings, with the idea that I wouldn't spend it.

So, my friends, I do not own National Parks Monopoly.

Yet.

Later that day, we made it to the campsite, where I fell into my role: while everyone else set up camp, cooked, made beds, and whatnot, I watched Caiti and read. Then there was food. Then there was... FIRE!



And there were marshmallows, of course. LissAnne was employing her usual practice of catching them on fire so she could sing a quick "Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!" before blowing them out and eating them. Siri started copying her... but without one important step: she wasn't eating them.

"Siri, are you going to eat those, or just burn them?"

"Burn them."

Random the Pyro approves of this picture.

Perhaps I shall write a new post.

What about, what about...

There will be another dearth of blog posts from the me. Tomorrow morning, I will be departing with my family and heading up into some mountains far away from here for some camping. There will be walking. And pictures. And food. And cookies that are oh-so-amazing. AND A TRAILER. THERE WILL BE A TRAILER. Thank heavens. Last year both the tents leaked and there was much much rain. We had to cobble together beds in the backs of cars. Bad day.

I really wish I had taken pictures of my room last week or so. Why? Because I spent this weekend cleaning things and rearranging things. I still have cleaning and rearranging to do now, but there has been a big big change. A really big change.

My elbow is sticky, and WALL-E is an awesome movie. (Believe it or not, those two things are related.)

Well, mates, I'm off. It'll be August next time I post... and hopefully the start of big things!

Going Hiking

As several of you may have noticed, I have a new camera, and have been using it. Nowhere will this be more apparent than in this post.

See, I got off work today to hike to Timp cave with my family, and rather than blog about it with words, I'd much rather give you some pictures with comments. Easy for me. : D

(Oh, and I did not steal this from dearchilly. This was how I was planning to do this all along.)

We have arrived! The first thing Siri notices is the river below. The first thing the rest of us notice is the sign. "Walking on water is prohibited."
Patsy, holding Cait while we wait for Father to purchase our tickets for the cave. His indifference extends to both the baby and the person holding the camera.
Siri, looking entirely too cute with her hair up in ponytails. Oh, by the way, we did embark on this hike with a three-month-old and a four-year-old (as well as my 80-year-old grandpa.) You shouldn't worry about them, though. I was the one falling behind.
Here's Cait, all suited up and ready to hike... ride, that is. Mother carried her all the way up, and held her (as well as fed her!) all through the caves.
Boo is an amazingly cute girl when she stops to smile. This is about the best picture I have ever taken of her. She did surprisingly well the whole hike; just a little hyperactive, hardly any complaining. Huzzah!
There are 18 of these signs along the trail, and we stopped at each one so Father could read aloud from this book. Due to this, many many people passed us, and I was able to take pictures without falling further behind. Of course, whenever the camera comes out, Siri is quick to notice and get in the picture.
Here's... half? of my siblings, posing in a little tunnel. Behind them you can see a sign, one of many that my sister and I read in tandem with matching English accents. We were more than a little annoying.
This is a wall. Why does the wall have sharp rocks in it? So you won't sit on it and risk falling down, down down...
Red lines mean "High risk of falling rocks! Keep moving!" Some of these lines were incredibly long, and many of them were uphill. Often the walkway along them was frighteningly dented.
Somehow... I don't know... I took all these pictures up and back, but I didn't really care much in the caves themselves. Here's one shot, one that I decided to do without my flash. For no reason.
I had been stopping all along the way to shoot any trash I found, and on peeking over a wall, I spotted this hat. As I prepared to take a picture, however, my phone rang. Yes. I was halfway up a mountain, and my phone rang. I had a rather mundane conversation with the caller (probably mostly due to the fact that I didn't tell the caller I was halfway up a mountain), then took the picture.
Siri gets odd obsessions with certain numbers every now and then. Today was 13's turn, so i made sure to point out the 13 medallion in the ground. I took a picture mostly to help cheer her - she was seriously flagging by this point, and kept insisting she couldn't "walk properly."
"Um, where's Siri? Everyone, where's Siri?" "I assume she's with dad..." "Let's stop and wait, just to make sure." "Oh! There they are. Someone should probably take Siri; dad has Caiti already."
47!!!! (Also, we're over halfway down!)
What you see is nothing less than amazing. During the last quarter of the hike, my dad was carrying not only his backpack and Caiti, but Siri as well. Enjoy your hike indeed.
After conquering Timp, we tackled a nearby Wendy's. Mostly at my insistence. I really needed something to eat by then.
Not surprisingly, Siri was zonked at the first available opportunity. This was a lot for short four-year-old legs to go through. Her sleep was well earned.
Also not surprisingly, by the time Cait was through sleeping through the hike and being fed while Mother wandered the caves, she was alert, watchful, and... trying to eat her burp diaper.

So that was my day today. Man, I'm so tired.

I Spy With My Little Eye

Star Trek: Voyager. (Boy is Janeway annoying on occasion. Plus, many dudes, most of the holographic, are dying. And I wonder why that one alien guy is threatening the hologram with a gun. I mean... what's that going to do?)

Baby swing. (Empty now. She's stopped liking it. Again. Even the white noise won't calm her.)

Draik holding Caiti. ("Hey little Caiti, what is with all the fight? Little bitty Caiti want to bite, bite, bite." See here)

Mother. ("Don't bother me.")

Bamboo 7. (Small and annoying, as always. Just finished yelling at Siri for being in his way.)

Siri. (Don't take away the cup... she will kill you.)

Shanna. (Sitting quietly in the rocking chair, in her own little world.)

Mac Mini. (Off, for once. Odd. Very odd. Oh, wait, it's Thursday - No Technology Day. Unless you've bought your own, as I have mine.)

Caiti. (Why am I holding her now? The rest of this will be very hard to type.)

Clothes. (How can we have so many clean clothes, yet none of them are mine?)

Wendy's. (Okay, so that's just wishful thinking.)

Oh, and I know you tagged me, Sam. That doesn't mean I have to comply! Ha ha ha!

I Was Wet and Cold, But Then it Was All Better

After not going to FHE, and then going to FHE, and playing in the sprinklers instead of listening to the lesson, and then ignoring my friends all the way home, I finally reached the safety and loveliness of my own home. I ate the happy, happy chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (oh heaven), and then decided I needed some real dinner (thank you, ward, for having sandwiches today). So I cut some potatoes, covered them with stuff, put them in the oven, and went off to take a shower.

Half an hour later, the potatoes were done. Being in a joking mood (why do I feel so good after ignoring my friends? This is a problem...), I listened to the steam escaping from the potatoes and told my mother, "They're screaming, mother! They're screaming!"

My poor, dear, sweet, and, at the time, very tired sister Siri got a very sad look on her face. "They're... screaming?"

Instantly I realized my mistake. "No, Siri! No! It's just the steam. I promise. They aren't screaming; they aren't alive."

Unfortunately, the damage was done. She was "sad" and "scared" (her words) for the rest of the night. Or until she fell asleep about half an hour ago.

Blast! I'll have to carry her down to my room as soon as Perry Mason is over...

Oh, and in case you're wondering, the potatoes are delicious.

Twister

Last night, after shedding anger and becoming light as a bubble, I made myself some gluten-free macaroni and cheese. While doing so, I suddenly shouted to my siblings and cousins that we should play Twister, a game that I have recently found myself enamored of.

Problem: by the time we had all eaten, and I had taken a shower, all my siblings under the age of 15 had been sent to bed. Also, Patsy had gone to bed 'cause he's smart like that, and Draik wasn't home yet. Also, my parent's door was open, and they had gone to bed, demanding that we be silent if we insisted on being awake.

Solution: well, before we got to the solution we had to do my hair. Which meant that I did my hair while my cousins watched Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged with me. Once all my hair was in curlers (and, luckily, my brother had come home again), it was time to tackle playing Twister while being absolutely silent.

"Too bad my room's a mess... we could play it there. It's right under mom and dad's room, but that's better than being just down the hall from their open door."

After some discussion, I came up with a great idea: play outside! Which meant we ended up at the end of the driveway in the light of a streetlight - or, we were in the light of the streetlight until it turned off. At which point we were in the dark until it turned on again. And then it would turn off.

This wasn't the only problem. Draik had brought a laptop out with him, and he somehow that that it was more important to chat than keep spinning, even when the three of us (myself and my two cousins) were yelling, half at him and half in pain, as we perched in our precarious positions. Our yells were even louder when cars would pass, because more often than not we were in positions that presented our rear ends to the road.

There was also the problem that I had: I could never win. Ever. Either the pain would be too much or I would lose my balance for no good reason.

After a good fifteen minutes of quick games, I begged out; Siri was with us and I knew she wouldn't go to bed until I went with her. I left my brother and cousins sitting on the Twister mat at the end of the driveway, discussing my brother's girl troubles.

As far as I know, my parents have no idea how we managed not to wake them while playing Twister last night. Somehow I don't think they'd much like the idea of us playing Twister at midnight at the end of the driveway.

Party at My Place

There was a party at my house last night (though I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this blog was either there or knew about it, so why bother saying so?). It was quite the fun party.

The first people to arrive were Board people, followed quickly by a few of my 'real' friends and more Board people. (Interestingly enough, Board people outnumbered 'real' people until the very end.) Within an hour, I had almost twenty people here. And an hour later, about half of them were gone. Whatever.


One of the die-hard attendees, who was there until about two-thirty in the morning. But was she there for me... or my baby sister? The world may never know.

One of the high points of the evening was when yellow m&m called Sam looking for directions (he assumed) back to my house. Ten minutes and many directions later, he realized she wanted directions to the house of a girl she was supposed to be picking up. Amid much laughter, I took the phone and gave m&m my friend's number so she could get some helpful directions.

Another high point was my cake. First we couldn't find any candles, and then we found 39. And we decided to put them all on. Here's my cake, and my torso. And my name tag. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Everyone there knew my name, most of them both of my names, so I got creative.

While we were in the kitchen eating cake, my dad took over the TV and started watching a show about the world's 10 creepiest places. While this might sound scary, watching it with my dad, my cousins, and my friends made it hilarious. Unfortunately, after that we decided to watch another ghost show and were throughly freaked out. So we all fell asleep in the living room watching Men in Tights.

And now my brother, who stole some of my friends and skipped the entire party, is getting mad at me because I won't let him have the wii turn he thinks he deserves.

As the Swan in the Evening

Well, it is evening, and I am dressed in white...

Okay, I have a white shirt on. That's close enough.

This is a shout out to my good friend chillylint, not only because she is giving away a game... she's also totally awesome!

Anyway.

Chilly is someone I always love to chat with online. Talking to her brightens my day, no matter what has happened to me. Her blog is updated regularly with interesting stories and beautiful photographs.

For a writer, I sound incredibly second grade. : p

Did anyone have a good Fourth? I did. I was paid to watch the Stadium On Fire show (okay, I was paid to work, but that's basically what it boiled down to), and when all was said and done, my paycheck for that event was calculated to be about the same as what people paid to get in. And while Miss Cyrus is not someone I would pay to see (thank heavens for earplugs... those fangirls are loud), it was really cool to see Blue Man Group.

I think they got things the wrong way around. Miss Cyrus should have opened, and Blue Man Group should have headlined. Honestly... "I know God has an ultimate plan, so I'm stoked"? About the war?

Note to reporters: do not directly quote Miss Cyrus. It only makes her sound unintelligent.

My Genius Brother

I believe I have spoken of him before? Patsy McCoopington?

I shall now proceed to update my blog, periodically, with stuff I stole from him.

Maybe someday he will get his own blog.


"In My Living Room, October 18, 2007. The Unanimous Declaration of Me,

"When in the Course of human events, I get Royally Ticked Off by certain People in Charge, I decide to declare Independence from said People in Charge. Certain Peer Pressures push me to use their Computer and Printer one last time to do so.

"As the Declaration of Independence states, certain unalienable Rights include the Pursuit of Happiness. When People in Charge take away my Games of Video, it becomes my Right, it becomes my Duty, to Go Off and Do My Own Thing.

"Besides Confiscation of Games of Video other Grievances they have caused include -

"They have refused to give me substantial amounts of Money for No Good Reason. -

"They have made certain that my Freedom of Speech does not include Swear Words. -

"They have pressured me to get Good Grades in school. -

"They have forced me to go to Scout Camps in Cold, Leaky Tents. -

"They have allowed Scoutmasters to take me on said Scout Camps. -

"And they have said they Don't Give a Rip when I say I could use certain Portable Game Consoles.

"I henceforth declare Independence from these People in Charge, and I am taking the Wii with me.

"Signed, [Patsy McCoopington]."

!

Hey, guess what! I have another blog!

See, I've been thinking about putting book reviews and stuff like that on here, but then decided that I needed a hobby, so I made a blog entirely dedicated to books. Yes I did.

rompwithjoy.blogspot.com

You Never Give Me Your Money

Hello, audience! Glad you're here tonight! I hope you're having a good time!

Could someone please call my sister
Who has tons of cash and owes me a favor or two
I'm really hurting for spending money.
There's a sale this weekend
At the Bookstore, and I just don't have enough
Books overflowing from my room's bookshelves

Please, I promise I will pay you back
And remember all those dinners I bought

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than giving me some cash so I can gather more books together.

I feel I must interject here
You're getting carried away imagining books you could buy
With all the money that, you know, is mine.
So let me remind you, sister,
That I might want to purchase some new books myself
And you bought new books last week with birthday money.

So just hand over my piggy bank
But I want more books! I don't have enough

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than giving me some cash so I can get more books together.
You have so many books that they are piled up on your carrel
But my room is quite bare and having more books would suit me well.

I admit that I have spent a lot
But I need to expand my library.
Sis, you're the one with the steady job
Let me use my money for me
Just for me.

Sung to Nothing Better by The Postal Service

I Am So Full Of Drugs It Is Not Even Funny

However, that does not mean that you are entitled to a loopy, half-asleep post. I may have four different allergy drugs and some pain reliever in my system, but I will prevail! And will my eyes please quit itching!

Today we talk about... siblings.

We talk about Caiti, who doesn't like to go to sleep when she could be fussing.

We talk about Siri, who is definitely getting into trouble on purpose today.

We talk about Boo, who tried to take a half hour bath/shower, using up all the hot water and forcing me to write this post while I wait for enough water for me to take a bath.

We talk about Bamboo 7, who has been mildly annoying when he's been around. Thankfully, he's decided to wander off.

We talk about Random, a.k.a. the girl I have not seen since I got home three hours ago.

We talk about Patsy, who is turning 16 tomorrow, and is quietly playing DS after heroically getting the fussy baby to go to sleep.

We talk about Draik, who is actually showing his I'm-not-really-a-jerk side, and is quietly playing EV Nova and helping me yell at Siri.

Yes, we talk about all these people, and remember that I love them, I love them, Ilovethemilovethemilovethem, even when they act like brats, even when they won't shut up, even when they mess-and-run, and especially when they suddenly act like the mature guys they are (in the case of my two oldest brothers).

SIRI! GET DOWN FROM THERE!

Gotta run.

NO! NOT THE

Happy

I have fallen in love with Pandora Radio all over again. They have MOTAB stuff! And all sorts of nice church-y music I can listen to while I lie here half asleep due to allergy medicine. I just wish they had more MOTAB. But it's getting there. Man, I love this thing.

You want to know something? Allergies stink. I missed three days of work last week due to allergies. (And a cold, too, but whatever.) And now today I was all ready to wear a pink rose in my hair and be all cute at church, but then my eyes decided to rebel and I'm lying on the couch instead.

I'm asleep... which makes me wonder how I'm still typing this.

Ah. Listening to good choirs makes me so happy.

Bob Says Stuff II

My eyes itch.

I hate being sick.

I don't think I've slept that much in one day since I was a baby.

I sometimes actually get work done when I'm writing with Hobbes.

Caiti doesn't like getting shots.

What shall I eat for dinner? Everyone is having pizza. I can't have pizza. I've been almost three weeks without wheat...

I really, really, really like to read.

Children.

For Once, It's Stupid Pedestrians

WELL! Y'all should feel lucky that I'm willing to sit here and blog after the amazing and exciting day I've been having! (With perhaps more excitement to come!)

Item number one: My alarm was set for 7. When did I get up? 8:10. Not only did I have a doctor's appointment at 9:20, but I had to get my dad to work and go to an ATM first. And, of course, we got out of the house late.

Item number two: I hate that crosswalk, the one between the WILK and the law building parking lot. I mean, all the crosswalks on campus are things to be wary of, but this one is particularly bad. Here's a tip: If the red hand is flashing, don't start crossing unless you're doing it at a dead run. Today a girl started crossing when the hand had been flashing a few times, and was therefore only halfway across when the light turned green. I honked at her, at which point she looked up and started walking a little faster. I then hurried across before the guy who followed her across, despite the fact that hand had stoppedflashing, could get in front of my car. 'Kay, people, this isn't just annoying and selfish, this is flippin' dangerous. A few months ago, a little girl nearly got hit by a car because her mother unthinkingly followed some students who were crossing against the light.

Item number three: I had a doctor's appointment in Orem. What happens when bob leaves the safety and familiarity of Provo? That's right, class, she gets lost! Every blasted time! At least I was only 20 minutes late...

Item number four: I finally get to work, over two hours late and feeling like I'm about to throw up, and the fire alarm goes off! Actually, this was funny, especially since this was the second time it had happened that morning. I got to exchange a few words with my dad and... um... pace...

Item number five: There I was, sitting in my room having some quiet time, and I hear my sister Siri start screaming outside. I jumped up, put on shoes, and went outside. Poor dear got stung, and had to be carried inside, hushed, and told to hold some ice in a cloth over her finger. And then she fell asleep. : D

It wasn't really that bad of a day, actually. The crosswalk thing really upset me for a while, but 's all good. As long as it doesn't happen again.

Second Archive Post of the Day

Board Question 6961
Posted: July 29, 2004

From time to time, the Board Writers have found themselves defending Utah Mormons, often because one or more of them is/are one/some. Sometimes they are unwilling, as was Cognoscente in Board Question 43460 ("There goes all my rebel street cred"). However, unlike that question and many others along the same lines, #6961 is an understanding, rational, more-or-less unbiased review of Utah Mormons done by a Utah Mormon. Lovely Rita knows that some Utah Mormons need to get their act together, but she also knows that it is these few who are giving the rest a bad name, and on the whole, Utah Mormons are a good bunch, if a bit more conservative than usual.

I myself am a Utah Mormon, from Happy Valley (Provo), in fact. Yet I believe that I am not really part of the stereotype. This is probably largely due to the fact that while my father lived in Orem all his life, my mother was a Californian. We do take things like modest dress, swearing=bad, and other things for granted, but we don't eat Jell-O in excess, turn away from people drinking Coke, or snub people of other faiths. In fact, some of our good friends are from Christ Evangelical Church.

I like this question because, for once, a reader was writing in to show that they can be rational, write well, and have a well-based opinion. It sometimes seems that only the angry write in to the Board. Clear thinking is much appreciated, and as we know, angry people are not always wise.

Also, I must laugh with Eowyn at this sentence: "...you have to resort to chastising people for drinking caffeine-free Coke (for it is like unto regular Coke)."

Happy Birthday To Me...

Today is my birthday! I am 20! No longer a teenager!

It was an exciting day, with me somehow ending up looking very cute for church, which produced lots of compliments; my birthday was announced in Sacrament Meeting, since I'm the chorister; I got to eat a really nice dinner (thanks mom!); and I've been happy birthday'd to within an inch of my life. 'S good stuff. Oh, and I got a kiss... a chocolate one. : D

Yep, sweet twenty and never been kissed. Ah well, it's sure to happen someday.

One last thing - who would have thought that the word 'pulchritude' meant 'beauty'? Or that mine was stunning? Not me.

Books!

Well, a lot has changed from this morning. I'm $82 poorer, and I have many, many books that I didn't have before. : D I still want all the Jane Austin novels, minus Pride and Prejudice, but I now have about half of the Discworld books.

I love books, and I love sales at the Bookstore. I also love getting money for my birthday.

I Love Books and the Bookstore

Today, at the BYU Bookstore, SF&F and fiction books are 25% off. (And with the added discount I get from my dad, I get almost 50% off.) In honor of this sale, here is the first installment of Books I Want But Do Not Yet Have:

All Terry Pratchett books except for Thud! (own it), Guards! Guards! (own it, though I may need a new copy soon), The Color of Magic (own it), Good Omens (which I plan to buy today), and The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld (which I believe Goober is going to buy for me for my birthday. By the way, did I mention that my birthday is tomorrow?)

All Jane Austin, aside from Emma, which I already own.

There are probably lots lots more, but since I don't work in the SF&F or fiction sections, I can't think of any more off the top of my head.

I think I'm going to allow myself to spend $30 today. I love books so much... oh, though I must remember to leave enough money to pay for gas...

Oh EFY, I Hardly Knew Ye

No, really, that's true. This is my second year being on BYU campus a lot of the time during spring/summer, and I still haven't been inconvenienced, or annoyed, or driven to the point of insanity. Yeah, there are a lot of younger kids on campus, but I'm more interested in watching them than cursing them.

Of course, this might be due to the fact that I never was in EFY, so have no embarrassing memories that resurface when EFY season starts. Also, I work in the Bookstore, a place that doesn't seem to be frequented by these hordes of young 'uns.

Mmm. Lunchmeat.

And then there's the fact (there are a lot of facts) that I am much more likely to laugh things off than most people. EFY students in my path? I take a detour, using the extra time to watch them for character ideas. Loud EFY lunch-eating? I try to recognize the songs and eavesdrop on the conversations.

What? My food is almost gone, yet I'm still hungry? I am so not walking all the way from the HFAC back to the Bookstore so I can get some more food. Deal with it, stomach!

Working the Event Staff

Oh yay for BORING BORING GRADUATIONS.

So I had to work some graduations recently. Or, I had to work one graduation today. For Lehi High.

Without being all rude and everything like I was earlier, I would like to relate two things that I learned today.

One: I often get really snarky when I have been forced to listen to bad musical numbers.

Two: A bad place to get openly snarky is a high school graduation.

The First Archive Post of the Day

Board Question 6629
Posted: July 7, 2004

This question is a response by the person who submitted Board Question 6652, a question directed toward the female Board Writers, assuming that most of them were not very popular as far as dating went, and asking why they were bashing on the pretty girls. He was, of course, met with some rather snarky answers.

Back to 6629, where Ninja4Hire gets even more upset. There was a little bit to be upset over, as far as I could see: in the previous question, Ninja4Hire had signed as someone else and not his usual 'nym, and yet Irreverent had called him by his usual 'nym. However, on the rest of it, I was siding with the Writers. Ninja was angry because the writers seemed to be making assumptions, and the Writers were a little put out because Ninja was making assumptions. Toasteroven responds in his usual open way, and Eowyn insists that she's lived with girls such as these, so she knows they exist and isn't just repeating a stereotype.

Well, that was boring. I should get better at this as time goes on. Now for the reason I chose this question.

"Latro would laugh his petunias off at THAT one." -Toasteroven

If that doesn't make you laugh, there is something wrong with you.

I Don't Think I'm Immature

My dad just said, "Whatcha doin', Bob?" He was talking to my sister, who was bobbing her head. However, I immediately looked up. He laughed at me.

And my mother is getting angry about the new car seat law again. The seat was only fifteen dollars, so she's not as mad about the government making a law that forces people to spend money, but she is upset that the car seat requires a seat belt that isn't installed in modern cars. That's not just money, that's time and inconvenience. She is not very happy with our state legislators right now. And her baby is crying again.

Also, we're watching Enchanted for the fifth time in the past four days. Once on Friday, thrice on Saturday, and once right now.

Anyway, to the actual topic of my blog. Thanks to Goober, I have rediscovered fortune tellers, sometimes called cootie catchers. These never seemed so fun in grade school, back when everyone was making them all the time. Now mine are awesome.

Choose a color: purple (written in pink ink), orange (purple ink), green (orange ink), or pink (green ink).

A fortune teller isn't very easy to replicate on a blog, so I'll skip ahead to the final numbers.

1: Quit falling in love with morons.
8: You're not crazy, you're just a little unwell.
2: I love you.
5: Tomorrow you will wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.
3: You will find happiness in strange places.
6: Someone has stolen your heart. You'd better hire an assassin to get it back.
4: Trust me, you don't want to know.
7: 47!!!

There were some that sadly didn't make the final list, including:
You will die knowing 32 men named Dave.
Beware the grinning sheep.
You will fall in love 15 times this week.
You will suddenly become allergic to pink.

Yesterday at Ward Prayer I hopped around forcing everyone to allow me to tell their fortune. Despite my overly cutsy attitude and the fact that I was using a bally fortune teller, I really don't think I was acting immature. At least, not very.

My Sisters Are Odd

Remember my sisters from a few posts ago? The cute one and the odd one? Yeah, they're both odd.

First of, there's Miss Siri. Her favorite movies have always, with a couple of interesting exceptions, been musicals and the like. When she's sad, or sick, or tired yet unable to go to sleep, we just pop in Enchanted or Music Man or Hairspray or Hello Dolly and she's fine/out like a light. Or we do one of the exceptions, Ice Princess, or, I kid you not, the six-hour Pride and Prejudice. She asked for it just this week when she was staying home from school sick. Today I cheated a bit by putting in the pink P&P, or, in other words, the "Mormon one."

And then there's Caiti. We had already established the fact that she hated her swing, which was a shame, since mom bought it for her. We kept trying, though, usually letting her cry for about 30 seconds before stopping the swing and taking her out. Today, Mother was determined to try the swing again. This time Caiti didn't cry right off, but as the swing played Fur Elise and gently swung her back and forth, she put on her betrayed face and thought about crying. Mother changed the song the swing was playing. Caiti looked more betrayed and closer to tears. Mother changed the music to sound, the (obviously fake) sound of a stream and birds. Caiti was asleep within two minutes.

NO KIDDING. She dropped off, just like that. When I tried to turn off the white noise so I could play music, she immediately woke up, so I turned it back on. Later, I compromised by turning her white noise down so I could hear my music.

Mother and Dad came home and did some stuff, and all was dandy. Then Caiti fell asleep and Mother and Dad ran off to BYU to get some prints of Caiti pictures. Not five minutes after they left, Caiti was left unattended (meaning Random was in the same room but not looking at her, not that we left her all by herself or anything) in the presence of dear Siri. Pretty soon I had a tired, slightly affronted Caiti on my hands.

What to do? I bounced her, I walked her, I put her down, I picked her up, I tried her plug several times, I tried every holding position I could think of, I even changed her diaper, and all I got was various intensities of crying. Finally, tired of it all, I put her in her swing. She cried and cried... until I turned on the noise of the stream and birds. It had been set on a different noise when I put her in, and it took me a minute to notice this, but as soon as I changed it, she stopped crying. She is now asleep again.

What is this?

How Did That Get There?

Today, as I put a band-aid on my finger, I started thinking about all the weird ways I have been hurt. There have been quite a few.

There was today's, for example: I cut my finger on my laptop. Yes, on my laptop. Ask Hobbes if you don't believe me. Or my parents. Supposing you don't know any of these people, you'll have to take my word for it.

Not too long ago I ripped my finger open on my braces. It was a rather deep cut.

A few years ago I created a hole in the roof of my mouth. I had been playing with one of those plastic sticks with the propeller on top, you know, the toys that you spin between your hands and release and it flies and stuff... yeah. Anyway, I had the end in my mouth (bad idea), and somehow it was jerked backward. I never went to the doctor for it, but my mom kept checking it, and I ate soup, ice cream, popsicles, and the like for a while.

I have a small dent on the top of my nose. It was created when my cousin knocked a Pringles can off the computer, aiming for her sister. She hit my glasses instead, and the bridge cut into my nose. There was a lot of blood.

I once stepped on a toothpick that my sister had left on the floor. It was vertical rather than horizontal, and the tip broke off, leaving about a fourth of an inch in my foot. My mother had to sterilize a needle and cut through my skin to remove the toothpick, and I had to keep it clean and nice for a while. This was long enough ago that all my friends crowded around to see my wound and ooo and ah, as many elementary school children are wont to do.

Then there was the time I acquired a pretty good bruise by dropping a bottle of carmel on my foot. It was full and landed on an edge, and was so painful I couldn't put on shoes the next day and therefore couldn't go to school.

Hmm... I can't think of any more. It's something of an interesting topic, though. I mean, everyone loves to gather around and discuss gory wounds and all, but I think it's more fun to think about little things that were caused by odd circumstances. Many people have broken bones and things while climbing trees and fences and using trampolines and what have you, but how many can boast a cut from glasses impacted by a Pringles can, a bite on the neck from a crazy 'vampire' cat, or a broken thumb from being kicked in the butt? (Okay, that last one didn't really happen. I mean, his thumb wasn't really broken.)

Another Big Surprise

I should really proofread blog posts before I post them. Can you find all the errors in my previous post?

What a Surprise

Want to know something? Writing is hard.

Take my novel, the one that was based off my very first 'story,' if you care to honor it with such a name. It changed, and changed, and changed again until it became a rather plausible story. And then NaNoWriMo came along, and lo and behold, my idea became a somewhat fully fleshed out story. 50,000 words, a beginning, middle, and ending, the works. I was so proud of myself. "Self," I thought, "good job. You have written a novel. Now let's the second draft."

This second draft isn't going so well. In fact, I stopped working on it ages ago, rethought some things, and am now starting a third draft even though I was only 42 pages into my second. I did that because my story, while still being the same in general, decided to go off in some different directions. And now I have a whopping two pages. Oh, wait - page and a half.

And then there's my other stories, most of which have yet to hit ten pages. Whenever I get excited about a story, I have to leave to go to work or take care of siblings or go to bed. Whenever I set aside an hour or two to type, I go from my story to story to story, occasionally adding some paragraphs, but usually just reading and thinking. Words don't come, I realize my character is a Mary Sue, I don't know where to go from where I am, I need to re-write a scene but I don't want to... my excuses go on and on. And suddenly my hour is up and I have added a whopping 500 words total. If that. Maybe more like 250.

In some ways, I can't wait until NaNoWriMo returns. I remember getting 500 words in 20 minutes, resting my hands for five minutes, and shooting off another 500 words in the next 20 minutes. I remember writing 5000 words in one day. I remember finishing homework quickly so I can write. I remember not wasting time online or with friends because I wanted to write, write, write. And now that same story is sitting like a lump on my hard drive, waiting for me to again glance on it with favor.

If writing is really one of the things I want to do with my life, I really need to learn to push through seeming writer's block and just bally well write something.

?

What do you do when you have no one to talk to and nothing to say?

Bob Says Stuff

I like my job.

I know who Tangerine is.

There are people who like me.

I have a cute baby sister.

I have a cute, and somewhat odd, little sister.

I have a rather clean room.

I'm still occasionally scared of people.

I'm going to go read other people's blogs now.

I Love Google, But...

I now do most of my searching on Goodsearch. Why do I do such a thing? Because these people donate money to the charity of my choice for every non-image, non-video, non-word definition search I do.

No, really, it's a good thing. A cool thing. My charity (The Office of Letters and Light, the non-profit that does NaNoWriMo and Script Frenzy) has earned over a thousand dollars so far.

So! Everyone! You don't have to completely abandon Google, but please find it in your heart to use Goodsearch every now and again. And if you don't have a charity in mind, do The Office of Letters and Light.

The Event Staff Lament

To those of you who were waiting for the post titled “The Event From Hell,” it looks like I lied. ‘Cause there’s nothing like a week and a half to lesson the outrage and annoyance of being confronted with several folks who seem to be forgetting in the good sense God gave them.

And, if I had stuck to that title, I would have been leaving out another lovely event, namely, Women’s Conference.

The joy and wonder of these events has left me with a new installment of Things I Have Been Wanting to Say.

“I’m surprised at how well-behaved your children are, considering the example you’re giving them.”

“Forgive me. I’m a lowly lay-worker. Notice the lack of a power-boosting radio.”

“Yeah, well, some people are jerks.”

“I can only be in so many places at once.”

“You know, ma’am, going from pity-inducing tears to indignant, snotty rage in the blink of an eye makes you seem rather insincere.”

“It’s amazing how you can spend all day being uplifted and edified and then act rude and condescending to everyone.”

“Well, maybe you do know the rules better than I do. After all, I only work here.”

“Could you break the rules any more blatantly?”

“These kids are great, ‘cause they’re at the age where they don’t yet think they know everything and will therefore follow directions. The parents are another story. I say next year, we broadcast from the Marriot, and the parents can watch in designated stake centers around the area.”

There were a few things I actually did say to people though.

“Well, I can’t have dinner until you leave.” (Replying to “It’s hard to eat dinner standing up.”)

“No matter how long you’ve been waiting, these seats are reserved.” (Replying to a rather indignant “I’ve been waiting for two hours!”)

“I get the feeling I’m trying to stop the sun from rising.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t really go kick people out of seats.”

And, my favorite, though no one else seemed to enjoy it.

“Hope of America? Flippin’ Hope of America? Oh, I’ll say these kids are the Hope of America. Looking at most of their parents, all we can do is hope.”

Later, in the staff room, we shared stories. One woman, rated on a scale from one to ten, one being mild-mannered and ten being Nasty McNasty-Pants, was given a twenty-five. A woman went into labor during the Women’s Conference concert, and we jokingly blamed it on the staff member who had insisted she obey the rules. Several people, after only Hope of America, almost wanted to quit; after Women’s Conference, they were pretty sure. I muttered that we should get a $20 bonus for Hope America. Oh, what lovely and wonderful events.

I Am Calm

WHOOOOOOOOOOO! Finals are over! I had over six hours of testing today, and I survived!

And now I'm doing all sorts of weird things, like bouncing off of walls and jumping up and down and dancing and flirting with people and smiling all the time and talkingreallyfast and not going to bed even though I need to get up with my family at six tomorrow!

And my scooter is fixed! YAY! I can finally ride it again as soon as we recharge the battery! And this summer I promise to take care of it and get a license (whoa did I say that last bit out loud?)

Friends, thank you for your concern. I will return to normal eventually.

Maybe. I kinda like being all cheerful and energetic like this.

So, people that know me, people that sorta know me, people that met me once, people who have talked to me online and never met me, and people who have no idea, really, who I am: should I go back to my shy, quiet, self, or embrace the exuberant me who likes to flirt and dance even though I know I look silly sometimes?

Boy, the way I wrote that question makes it sound biased.

Baby Picture

I really only have the one, but it's cute, aye? This is my sister Caiti, everyone. She was born on Thursday the 17th after a very easy labor (as soon as they gave my mother the epidural, anyway). She is the eighth child in our family and the fifth girl.

No One Wants To Know What I Think

No, this isn't some totally emo no-one-understands-me post or anything like that. No, this is post about the truth. Cold, hard truth.

Before I start, I want to apologize for not posting about my sister (who, shoot, just woke up) (okay, she's gone back to sleep now). I'm waiting until I can get some pictures. I only have one, and it's not very good. My parents have all the good ones.

Now for the truth.

Something bob hates: being sick. Especially when it isn't her fault.

Something bob likes: having time to write whatever she wants, even stupid stupid stuff that she will never show to anyone.

Something bob is afraid of: people.

Something bob loves: tiny baby sisters.

Something bob hates: Mr. Collins.

Something bob likes: friends.

Something bob is afraid of: spending money when she isn't earning any.

Something bob loves: ice cream.

Okay, no matter how beautiful the truth is, it can get old real fast. I'll cut that out. Maybe I should go study...

Something bob hates: doing badly on exams that she had plenty of time to study for but didn't.

Caution: Arrogance, Pride, and Some Possible Hypocrisy Ahead

There are some things I kept myself from saying for the past two days. I would now like to say these things.

"Not cutting off with the rest of the choir is a bad way to get attention."

"Excuse me, but I think you wandered away from a bad opera. This is a choir."

"You're not allowed to tell the rest of us to be quiet. You're the loudest one here."

"You're flat."

"You're still flat."

"Are you ever not flat?"

"I'm only laughing so I won't hit you."

"You do not accent a note by scooping."

"You are not singing with correct vowels. In fact, I don't know of a single situation where you would use those vowels. Maybe if you had a Scandinavian accent."

That is the the worst vibrato I have heard sung by anyone under the age of 55."

"Would it kill you to blend?"

"You're not the only soprano!"

"AAAARRRRRRRG!"

Thankfully, no sopranos were killed in the making of the concert.

Also, I have a crush on one of the directors. *blush*

Anticipation

I haven't had time to do something epic. Sorry, you'll have to wait a bit longer if you're looking for the post that will win me world fame.

I don't have time right now to do this at all. Which is, obviously, why I'm doing it. So what if I have work in two hours and have precious little free time and a paper to do? Psh.

Exciting things have happened.

Sunday - Mother is in the hospital all during the last session of Conference. She thought she was going into labor, but it turned out to be a kidney infection. "I was so full of bacteria it wasn't even funny."

Tuesday - Fred comes with me to a restaurant. We have a lot of fun talking. There is much good food.

Wednesday - : ) That's all I'm going to say.

Thursday - Conversation in Spanish class:

"...which means, Nicole is the only student in this class who is engaged. Is that still true? Anyone have any news? [bobtheenchantedone]? You brought a friend Tuesday."

"Yes. A friend. In fact, when he told you his name, it was the first time I had heard his real name."

*general surprised noises*

"And he knows me as bob. I call him Fred, he calls me bob. The only reason why he knows my real name is because he tricked it out of my sister."

"We'll... talk about that later."

Again, : )

Friday - I turn in the reports on my first missions. Much praise is given to Agent Fred and Agent Random for their help. There is a possibility of future assignments.

Exciting things are going to happen.

Today - Scooter fixed? Oh, please say yes!

Monday - Last day of class!

Tuesday - Choir concert!

Thursday - CAITLIN MARSI ARLENE IS BEING BORN!!!! (If not earlier! "Could you clean the kitchen? I'm going to sit here and try to go into labor.")

Later - Who knows? The world is full of possibilities! Perhaps this will be my lucky summer! Perhaps next fall will be the beginning of my most successful school year! Woohoo!

Wow. And now I feel really guilty for sitting here for the last hour playing around on my laptop. I need to get up and get going!

Yeah, This is How I Relieve Stress

TMBG, She's An Angel
(If you don't have this song, you can try this video.)

I'm stuck, my ideas are gone now
My script is still on page one
I don't like my idea yet and
I don't have a better one
Aside from that, my sister
Is feeling sick again
I'm not watching where my money goes
And need to make a phone payment

What is going on here, in my life?
What should I do?
These things happen to me often
Can't they happen to someone else?

Just keep following the sunlight
Thinking of the good times
Keep the bad times out of my mind
Oh thank goodness that it's Conference
I can get some guidance
List'ning to the talks should help
I know I can be cheerful
I have lots of things going right for me
Sometimes, however, it is really hard
To remember why I'm doing this

That paper, due last Friday,
The one I felt good about
Came back with only 78%
'Cause it turns out my ideas were weak
My siblings decided to hate me
Because I, once again,
Had to assign each one a chore
And make sure that they were all done

Why, why must they hate me when I do my job?
How could my best work
Turn out to be... so non-A-earning?
Why try at all?

Just keep following the sunlight
Thinking of the good times
Keep the bad times out of my mind
Oh thank goodness that it's Conference
I can get some guidance
List'ning to the talks should help
I know I can be cheerful
I have lots of things going right for me
Sometimes, however, it is really hard
To remember why I'm doing this

Just keep following the sunlight
Thinking of the good times
Keep the bad times out of my mind
Oh thank goodness that it's Conference
I can get some guidance
List'ning to the talks should help...

Why People Get Songs Stuck in Their Heads

I have a theory about this. And it involves one of my favorite non-existent things; magic.

You see, ages and ages ago, humans were able to use magic. They were born with it, and controlled it through music, mostly singing. However, for one reason or another, the true use of music was forgotten, and the unused magic gradually faded. This magical age faded in memory.

But wait! Human bodies couldn't completely get rid of this magic, though now it is so faded that almost no one can consciously access it. Only the subconscious can access this tiny bit of magic, and still only through music. When someone gets a song stuck in werf's head, what werf doesn't know is that werf's subconscious is using magic to save werf from some sort of danger or mishap.

Yeah. That's my theory. I wonder if I can write that into a story somehow...

In other news, I have one whole page of my script written, putting me behind both Random (5 pages) and my odd cousin (19 pages, I think). I need to get on top of things!

I Hate April Fool's Day

Yeah, I do. So there.

But I do like Script Frenzy. This is what I celebrate in the first of April.



Before you ask, no, you may not read my script. It's... stupid. No, really. However, I really want to write it. So I will write it, and then probably erase all evidence. It'll be good practice, aye?